The Fun Factory Read Online Free PDF

first time. I didn’t know what to do to break the tension, so I took his bowler hat from my head and handed it over to him. He nodded, took it from me and set it on the small table at his side.
    “Would you like me to do the late rounds tonight?” I said finally, unable to stand it any longer.
    “I would appreciate that, Arthur, thank you.”
    More oddly appraising silence followed, and then I ventured: “I’m sorry, if seeing what I did this evening was … embarrassing for you. I didn’t mean…” My sentence tailed off and he completed it for me: “…for me to see you at it, I know, I know. Well, I’ve got two things to say to you, Arthur Dandoe, and I sincerely hope you’ll pay attention to them.”
    Here it comes, I thought, bracing myself.
    “When I saw you up on the stage there tonight, well, I don’t mind telling you I got the shock of my life, I did. I saw you up there, dressed like me, speaking my words in my voice and heard all the gentlemen in there laughing and cheering, and do you know what I thought to myself? Do you?”
    He wasn’t raising his voice. In fact he was frighteningly calm, and I’ll tell you what I was thinking to
my
self. I was thinking, this is the angriest I’ve ever, ever seen him. Even more angry than when Lance left and joined the army without telling anyone.
    “Um … no…?”
    “I thought to myself, well, Dandoe. Here’s a nice thing. Look at them all, laughing at you, laughing at your funny little ways. What does this all mean, I wonder…?”
    He looked me right in the eye.
    “I’ll tell you what it means, my lad. It means they like me. They really like me.”
    Eh?
    “Oh yes. It means I, George Dandoe, am more than just a college employee, the senior college employee. I’m beyond that now, oh yes, way beyond. I’m a college
institution
.”
    He beamed.
    “And do you know what else I thought?” he went on. “I thought to myself: look there, Dandoe, there’s your son. He’s had none of what all these other men have had, none of the privileges, none of the advantages, and look at him. He’s as good as every last one of them. Better even. They’re hanging on every word he says.”
    I was stunned. Staggered.
    “Good luck to you, son. You showed ’em, eh? Oh yes! You showed ’em all! Well done! I’m proud of you. I mean it.”
    He leaned over, took my hand and pumped it enthusiastically, a warm smile spreading across his face.
    “Now come on, look lively. Off with that waistcoat, and whatever else you’ve stuffed under there, you cheeky beggar…” – here he patted his tummy, more jovial than I’d ever seen him – “and then round to the Old Reader. Some of those gentlemen willneed sending on their way if they’re not to be locked out of their own colleges…”
    A couple of minutes later I was outside in the night air once again, shaking my head at my father’s reaction. I’d lampooned him in front of everyone, and he’d loved it! Well, you could have taken the proverbial feather and rendered me more or less horizontal with it.
    The smoking concert was over by the time I reached the Old Reader, and it had dissolved into a loud and raucous drinking party. If anything, there was even more smoke than before, and you could see it swirling and drifting by the gas jets on the wall.
    “Excuse me? Gentlemen? Could I have your attention?” I bellowed at the top of my voice. “The front gate will be closing in ten minutes. Those of you from other colleges should be on your way now.”
    It was as if I was invisible. The Power clearly did not extend to the delivery of mere factual information. I gave up on them – after all, if they wanted to risk the wrath of the proctors’ bulldogs it was no business of mine. I stepped off the chair and took down one of the long poles to open the top windows, thinking to let out some of the smoke. I was reaching up to the first window, when Mr Luscombe rushed over and grabbed my arm.
    “For goodness’ sake, put