The Forbidden Read Online Free PDF

5
    Christian Yoder had a powerful sense that someone was hovering near his bed. He lifted his head and saw his younger brother, Zach, leaning on the footboard, his shape visible by the light of the moon streaming into their shared bedroom.
    “Zach?” He paused. “What’s up?”
    The room was weighty with silence.
    Chris sat up and swung his legs over the side of the bed. His bare feet touched the floor. “Man, it’s cold in here.”
    Zach made a gesture in the dim light. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to wake you.” He reached up to his bulletin board to straighten a five-by-seven photograph of Suzy Fisher, an enlargement of the only snapshot he had of her. The picture had gone up the week after her untimely death. “I . . . couldn’t sleep.”
    It was hard to see his brother like this. Until last year, most people would have described Zach as an incurable optimist. “Don’t worry about it. I’m awake,” said Chris.
    Still standing by the bulletin board with its mementos and news clippings, Zach shook his head. “She’s with the Lord, right? Isn’t that what we believe?”
    Chris sat quietly. He understood Zach’s grief. Suzy was his brother’s first love, and there had been something remarkably special about her, beyond being interesting and full of life.
    Or was it Zach’s guilt, knowing they were partially responsible for Suzy’s death? The guilt dug at Chris’s soul, too. She had several sisters, if he remembered correctly, including Nellie Mae, the sister Suzy had talked about most often. It had been his idea to ask Suzy’s close sister along that day, an offer she’d refused.
    How devastated Nellie Mae—the whole family—must have been. Must still be. Great as the gulf was between their way of life and his, he’d wanted to express his utter sorrow and somehow . . . apologize. As if that would make a difference.
    “Suzy is more alive than we are . . . don’t forget that,”
    Chris said.
    “Yeah.” Zach wandered from the window back to his bed, where he sat staring out at the moonlight. “I guess we’d better get some sleep.” His eyes looked hollow.
    Suzy’s death had affected everything—even Zach’s spiritual life. Not to say he was struggling in his faith, but he’d been shaken to the core, just as Chris had been. Their whole family had felt the loss; they’d all been so fond of the freckle-faced Amish girl with wheat-colored hair.
    “Ever think of going back out to the lake?” Chris hadn’t planned to say that.
    But Zach nodded slowly. “Maybe we should sometime. When do you want to go?”
    Chris already regretted making the suggestion, but he couldn’t back out now, not with Zach agreeing to it. “Next weekend’s good. Too much going on today at church.”
    Zach glanced at the bulletin board once again, then at Chris. “Sure, guess I can wait.”
    “Hey, it’s already the Lord’s Day . . . lighten up.” Chris threw his pillow across the room, but Zach ducked.
    Reuben Fisher waited for church to begin, killing time in the raw air. He noticed Benjamin, one of his five married sons, hurrying his way.
    “ ’Mornin’,” said Benjamin, ankle-deep in snow. “Seems your cousin Jonathan Fisher’s bought himself a used car. A ’65 Rambler Marlin—a two-door fastback.”
    “Ach, but you know a mite too much ’bout this here car business, son.”
    Benjamin poked at the snow with his black boot. “Honestly, I wouldn’t mind gettin’ me a good-lookin’ car like that. Perty beige color.”
    Reuben shook his head. Were the New Order meetings merely leading to this? He glanced across the way at his eldest sons—twins Thomas and Jeremiah, both in Sunday black—and wondered how long before they would start such talk. “How is it you’re privy to Jonathan’s purchase?”
    Benjamin brightened. “Saw the car myself while I was over there helpin’ in his barn. It’s a dandy, I daresay.”
    Reuben swallowed hard. “A car is the last thing I need . . . or want.” Fact was,