The Flawed Mistress (The Summerville Journals) Read Online Free PDF

lips:  "You are very beautiful," and that same
lascivious look in their eyes.
       
Not a single one of them seemed to notice how I hated to hear that; perhaps
they all believed it was modesty that made me cringe away from them, made me
stiffen when they touched my hand.
       
Eventually, I told the servants to refuse admittance to anyone.  I cared
nothing for custom, I cared not that it might be
uncivil.  I just wanted to be left alone.
     
    ***
     
       
I had heard rumours that the King’s marriage to Queen Anne was not all he had
wanted, that she had failed to give him a son just like Queen Katherine and
that he spent little time with her now.  I heard from servants’ gossip
that he had returned to his mistresses, but it was just of passing interest to
me.  What King Henry did was of no concern of mine, so long as he forgot
my existence and left me in peace.
       
I was denied my wish.  Only a few weeks after the death of my husband, the
King sent for me to attend him late at night. 

CHAPTER
THREE
     
       
My first reaction was to refuse, but I knew that would never be allowed. 
There was a servant from the palace standing in my bedchamber and waiting for
me to give him an answer, but why I could not imagine since there was only one
answer that would be accepted.
       
I had heard that this was what happened when a woman had attracted the King. 
I had also heard that Queen Anne had refused the king’s attention and that had
resulted in his interest growing.  But she had been the niece of the Duke
of Norfolk, a much more important lady than I. That is how she became Queen.
       
Better to accept my fate, as I had accepted my fate on many occasions, than to
tread such a dangerous path as her.  I had no desire to be Queen, or
mistress, but if they were my choices I would choose the latter.  A far
safer option I would have thought.
       
So I dressed and followed the palace servant to his waiting coach.  Inside
the King’s chamber my heart began to hammer loudly.  I had hoped that when
my husband had died I would be left in peace, that I
would be allowed to hide away in his London
house and not attract the attention of any man.  This beauty that they all
said I had was a cruel curse and no mistake.  Sometimes I felt like
slashing my face with a knife, so that no man would ever want me again. 
If only I had the courage!
       
This man who approached me was old by my standards, but I had been subjected to
old men before. He was a big man though, heavily built, with striking red hair
and an easy smile on his tiny mouth.  I felt that there was more behind
that smile though, as it did not reach his eyes and that he was so used to
getting his own way, his anger would be dreadful if he were refused anything.
 Queen Anne must be a braver woman than I.  There were rumours that
he was a great lover, although I was really not sure what they meant. 
What did a man have to do to be a great lover?
       
He was holding out his hand to me, waiting for me to take it, and I cursed the
tears that began to gather as I gave him a deep curtsey before taking that
hand.  I was shaking, my heart hammering, my legs trembling.
       
“My dear,” he said.  “Do not be afraid.  You are so very beautiful, it would be a shame to spoil such beauty with
tears would it not?”
       
Those words again; and they sounded no better coming from royal lips.
       
“Yes, your majesty,” I replied, not knowing what else to say.
       
“Come, sit beside me and tell me all about yourself ,”
the King said gently, leading me to a settle before the fire.
       
Tell him about myself?  Why, I thought, would he want to know?  I
could not remember a time in my life when any man had wanted me to say
anything, so why would this illustrious one wish to know?  Of course, he
did not really have any interest in my life;   it was just a rouse to get me to relax and he would never remember what I told him
in the