The First Warm Evening of the Year Read Online Free PDF Page B

be walking in, and even though she’d never been there before, she looked like she’d been coming there forever, because Marian impressed me as someone who never looked awkward or out of her element; and even though I was as familiar with this place as I was with my own apartment, being with Marian changed all that. It was like I’d never been there before. Not until Marian walked in.
    This was a hell of a thing to imagine, romantic fantasies about a woman whom I hardly knew, who was another man’s girlfriend.
    Not that all I did was moon about Marian. I had a lot to keep me busy those three days: Twelve hours at the recording studio. An evening at the theater with friends. Lunch with a new account. Drinks with some Hollywood people, who were considering me for the voice of a cat. Drinks, this time with friends, and dinner. And an evening with my brother, Alex, who had returned from a spa looking uncharacteristically relaxed, and in formidable good humor.
    I would not say that my brother had an inordinate amount of secrets, and while I was never loath to speak my mind with him, I was also aware that there were limits to just how much he was willing to tell me of his personal life and his relationships. Even a vacation at a desert spa was off-limits, but this night Alex appeared ready to step up to the microphone and take questions. To ask him to cede center stage just to hear about my affaires de coeur would have been not only inconsiderate and insulting, but annihilating in a way that my brother, a psychiatrist, would have understood and resented. Plus, there were few things more enjoyable than listening to Alex when he was in the mood to puncture inflated egos.
    He gave a thorough and piquant rundown of “the small coven of middlebrow narcissists and their idyll among the cacti. Self-absorbed, self-entitled . . . Fortunately, they preferred their own company. Sort of like volunteers for a chain gang.” He put his hand on my shoulder and gave it a firm squeeze. “But really, it was very pleasant, even if I did feel that any minute Virgil was about to appear and point out the more attractive accommodations of this southwest ring of hell.” He looked quite satisfied with himself after he said this.
    We were in a taxi, on our way to supper with our aunt Sukie, our father’s younger sister and our only blood relative still living in the city. We were both quite fond of her, and Alex liked to make sure that we saw her at least every month.
    Traffic was slow that night, but I didn’t feel impatient. I was glad to spend the extra time with my brother.
    â€œDid you meet anyone?” I wanted to know.
    â€œThe man of my dreams? Afraid not, my friend. Although I did manage to shake five pounds off my ass, and have a pretty good time.” He leaned forward and checked on the lack of progress on the street. “And, by next week, I’ll be my miserable old self again, and it will be as if I’d never gone away.” He turned toward me. “You know what I’d really like? I’d like to come home at the end of the day and someone’s waiting for me. Someone whose company I like, and who likes mine.” He smiled. “Otherwise it’s all just distraction.”
    That wasn’t the first time he’d told me this. I don’t know if I was going to say anything, or what it would have been, but Alex raised a finger to stop me. “ You are in no position to talk to any one about relationships.”
    I knew that tone of voice. It always made me think of tweed rubbing against bare skin, and whatever I’d have said, whatever I might have offered, Alex would have turned to me with a look of antipathy, as though I’d not only exacerbated what he was feeling, but confirmed his lowest opinion of himself, and would I please just disappear. But that passed. Alex was smiling again, saying, “Tell me what happened in Shady Grove.”
    I told him