The First Touch Read Online Free PDF Page B

she changed her actions then his reactions would change as w ell and maybe today , saving her life in the process .
    Now adays she listened to everything that she saw , and paid heed to all of the possible outcomes of her actions . She did not make the same mistakes twice , no matter how crazy it seemed . She was not going to back down from the challenge , not like before.
    T he progression of the visions was not always convenient though, changing from times of stress , to visions when she was her most calm without warning , both of which were problematic. Blanking out at the moments when she needed to be the most on top of things was challenging , even once while she was being mugged it occurred, causing her to black out . Although that one did end up turning out well, the mugger thought she was insane , and h e dropped her bag in the alley a few feet behind her . Yelling something like, “Crazy bitch,” and then running off without taking a dime .
    This newest development of calm visions now resulted in less embarrassing moments, especially since she was the most comfortable when she was alone , but it too had it’s complications. Presenting her with a new set of dangers , as now she could no t take baths or swim, or use any sharp objects , while she was alone , which was almost always. Still, a ll of those things were taken in stride, of which she was proud. The only exception was the newest adjustment, which had taken her months to become accustom to.
    It was voices that she began to hear, at first when she closed her eyes at night, then when ever she was sitting quietly. The problem was they were not speaking to her , but to each other, conversations about any number of things. It became clear, that they were not other people’s thoughts, at least not people who were nearby. Honestly, she had hoped that they were , so she could see if they were real to rule out the obvious fear. Her other tact was trying to communicate with them, but they did not seem to hear her , no matter what she tried .
    She did not feel crazy though , well at least , no more than other people. Moreover, eventually she realized that they meant no harm. So she chalked it all up to just another part of her mind’s out growth and that in time they would make sense, or not. She had gotten into the habit of making notes of interesting tid bits that she pulled from the voices in addition to the dream journal. Keeping note pads, one next to her bed and the other in her pocket usually , to jot them down. Whenever they were not handy, she just scribbled things onto scraps and transcribed them later.
    She did try not thinking about it too much, thinking it might encourage them to get even worse , or so she figured , since they seemed to be getting stronger . Nevertheless, she did often fi nd herself speculating about what and where they were though . They w ere so different . S ome did not even speak English. The tho ught processes for a lot of these people was similar however , and she knew deep down that they were a group of hunters. Autumn also guessed that they were very good at their ga me. So good in fact, that she often thought her mind was synching with thei rs in order to warn her of potential danger.
    The danger was definitely real enough; some of their conversations were down right grotesque , tracking and hunting others only to eat them, while they were still alive . Those images seemed to stick in her mind more than others that she had actually seen in her dreams . To the point that she awoke to the sound of her own screams every few nights , after dreaming about creatures with bloody mouths chasing and attacking her , just like th e voices suggested .
    That had disturbed her the most, she had read about schizophrenia and other delusional possibilities. She knew that her symptoms could h ave easily been seen as such. She had even experimented with self medication techniques, taking different sleeping pills, to try to push the voices, and