The Fall of Ventaris Read Online Free PDF Page B

hadn’t survived the Deeps without being careful, but even so his kind lived a precarious existence. They went unprotected by the blackarms or even a brothel-keeper like Minette. The girls relied on Lysander’s guidance to keep them safe. Thanks to him none of them had died since...well, since she’d known him. Until now.
    “We all told him this job was a bad idea, but he wouldn’t hear it,” he said reflectively, staring out into the Shallows. “Men who fuck women always think they’re invulnerable, like the world wouldn’t dare stand in their way, and Pete was no different.” Bitterness tinged his voice. “But he forgot that to anyone up the hill he’s just another ganymede.”  
    Duchess stood. “Wait...you all knew ? Denys and Brenn and Squeak?” She stopped. Oh gods. “This just happened. That’s why you weren’t in the Deeps.”
    He rounded on her. “Believe it or not, Duchess, the whole world does not revolve around you.” He kicked over a pile of clothing. “Anyway, I never thought you’d go running off into the Deeps alone like an idiot.”
    “I didn’t just...I mean I...” She had no ready answer, because if truth be told, she had been an idiot. “How was I supposed to know? You’ve been so...since...”
    He said nothing, but his hand went to his own cheek.  
    Guilt blew away her anger like a gale, and they sat in silence for a long time. “So he’s dead,” she managed at last. “And you just drank the night away?”
    “I guess you think we should have wept or asked the radiants for a funeral pyre?” He kicked away a wooden cup and the roach that had been hiding beneath it scurried between the floorboards. “Pete’s not the first of us to die, just the first you know about.”
    She blinked, uncertain how to feel about that revelation. “What happened to him?” she asked, unsure she wanted to know.  
    “Adam Whitehall happened to him,” Lysander replied dryly. The name was vaguely familiar, and she took a moment to refresh her memory. Then the tale came flooding back, of knives, blood and murdered boys, leaving her cold.
    “He did it again ,” she muttered, feeling weightless. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
    “We’ve all got our secrets, haven’t we, Duchess?” His words were another blow in the belly, a strike far worse than any she’d gotten from that woman in the Deeps. She struggled to breathe, tasting smoke in her mouth. Lysander made no move to comfort her and the cold silence went on forever. Despite herself, she felt the tears running down her cheeks.  
    “You know, don’t you?” she croaked. “I loved you from the first, that day in the alley in Market...do you remember?” Something in her tone must have caught him, for his eyes softened. He nodded wordlessly. “I loved you because you were this shining golden boy who listened and took me seriously and who never asked me for the truth. You let me have my lies.”  
    She put her face in her hands to hide her tears. She wanted to go to him, touch him, and wished he’d do the same, but neither of them moved. She took a shuddering breath. “Don’t ever think I’ve forgotten what I did to you. In my dreams I hear the Brutes and their voices and I wake up thinking I’ll never see you again. And then I do see you again but it’s different. Because of me.” She looked up at him nakedly, certain he could see her tears but no longer caring. “I don’t know how to make it right, Lysander. Maybe I can’t make it right because...you called me Silk and Steel, but I don’t think either of us really understood just how cold and hard that part of me is. Because no matter how much I love you, no matter how much I regret it” — she took a breath — “I think I would do it again.”
    He watched her for a long moment, candlelight shining in the blue pools of his eyes. “Honesty at last,” he murmured. “Thank you.”
      “You were right...I have kept secrets, and you do deserve better than that.” She