miles into the trip, and they hadn't seen more than a handful of zombies. It was quiet.
“I don't like it,” Kell said. “North Jackson should draw the dead like flies to honey. We know they follow the smell of people trading between here and Kentucky. So why aren't there any out here?”
Kate sighed in exasperation. “It's like you want trouble, man. Were you not listening when the escort soldier briefed us this morning?”
Kell frowned. “I was listening, sure, but it was mostly stuff we already knew. How to stay in groups, what to do if we're attacked--”
“And what measures North Jackson took to make this trip safer,” Kate said. “They've had people up from the south to help, even. Ammonia and gunfire all up and down the route. It's as safe as it can be, Kell. Stop worrying.”
For a moment he considered arguing, but something vital seemed to drain away. The tension in his shoulders lessened as he leaned back into his seat, constantly darting eyes finally coming to a rest. Large as he was, Kell seemed childlike as he slumped in his seat.
He glanced at Kate. “Sorry. Really. I'm just on edge. I was sure someone was watching the house. Feels like the same thing now, you know? The way you know someone walked in the room even though you can't hear or see them?”
Kate studied his face for the second he looked at her. It wasn't especially dangerous; they were going a steady twenty miles an hour.
“Are you okay?” she asked. “You look tired. You've been so high-strung lately, and quiet. What's going on with you?”
Kell said nothing, fingers twining together in a display of nerves. He caught himself, but it was too late. Kate saw it as well.
“Funny,” she said. “I think that's the first time I've ever seen you fidget. You must be really worried about something.” She flashed a bright smile. “Don't fret, I won't let your emotional confession turn into some awful commercial about getting your period.”
Despite himself, Kell laughed. It felt good. How long had it been...?
“You know, I don't think I've really laughed since the dreams started. Nightmares, really.”
Kate was quiet for so long he began to think she'd never answer. When she finally spoke, her voice was flat. Dark. The even stoicism of a person gripping the edges of some deep pain with all their effort, unable to spare the energy for inflection in their words.
“When my husband was killed, I dreamed about it for months. I'd wake up so angry I couldn't think. Laura even stopped me from killing you once, after you freed us. You were still unconscious, and Laura made me nap for an hour. When I came around all I saw was the camp and all the memories that came with it. I saw you. Laura knew I'd been having nightmares, violent ones. She was ready for it.”
“I had no idea.”
Kate nodded. “You saw how I was when you first showed up. Angry, quiet. I didn't trust you.”
“Can't really blame you for that, not after...” Kell trailed off, cleared his throat. “You warmed up to me eventually.”
Again, she nodded. “I did. But it took a while, and all that time I was dealing with the dreams. Reliving his death every night. I guess what I'm saying is, you can talk to me about it. I've heard you in your room. I know what you're going through.”
Ice flooded his stomach. “I don't know if you want to hear it. I'm not...I'm not proud of what goes on in my head.”
Kate chuckled. “They're dreams, Kell. You can't control them.”
“It's not just nightmares,” he said with a frown. “It's how they affect me afterward.”
For a few minutes they were silent. It wasn't uncomfortable, the three of them were far beyond that reaction. It was the deep, companionable quiet of people who knew when to speak and when to let their thoughts drift. The understanding between friends telling you not to push too hard.
“Do you really want to know?” Kell said, his voice too small for his huge frame.
Kate looked at him, concern etched in