The End of the Road Read Online Free PDF Page B

cry a bit.
    “By that you mean I’m too old for you to bother being silly with, don’t you?” she observed between sobs. “You’re thinking that a woman my age can’t afford to be coy.”
    Fresh tears. Everybody was digging truth out of me.
    “Why hurt yourself?” I asked over her hair to the whiskey bottle on the night stand.
    “You’re the one that’s doing the hurting,” Miss Rankin wept, looking me square in the eye through her tears. “You go out of your way to let me know you’re doing me a favor by picking me up, but your generosity doesn’t include wasting a little time being gentle!” She flung herself, not violently, upon her pillow, burying her face in it. “It doesn’t make the least bit of difference to you whether I’m bright or stupid or what, does it? I might even be more interesting than you are, since I’m a little older!” This last piece of self-castigation, while it choked her completely for a moment, made her mad enough to sit up and glare at me defiantly.
    “I’m sorry,” I offered politely. I was thinking that even if she were talented as, say, Beatrice Lillie, is talented, one would not pick her up in order to witness a theatrical performance: one would purchase a theater ticket.
    “Sorry you wasted your time on me, you mean!” Peggy cried. “Just making me defend myself is awful enough!”
    Back to the pillow. Up again at once. “Don’t you understand how you make me feel? Today is my last day at Ocean City. For two whole weeks not a soul has spoken to me or even looked at me, except some horrible old men. Not a soul! Most women look awful at my age, but I don’t look awful: I just don’t look like a child. There’s a lot more to me, damn it! And then on the last day you come along and pick me up, bored as you can be with the whole thing, and treat me like a whore!”
    Well, she was correct, of course.
    “I’m a cad,” I agreed readily, and rose to leave. There was a little more to this matter than Miss Rankin was willing to see, but in the main she had a pretty clear view of things. Her mistake, in the long run, was articulating her protest. The game was spoiled now, of course: I had assigned to Miss Rankin the role of Forty-Year-Old Pickup, a delicate enough character for her to bring off successfully in my current mood; I had no interest whatever in the quite complex (and no doubt interesting, from another point of view) human being she might be apart from that role. What she should have done, it seems to me, assuming she was after the same thing I was after, was assign me a role gratifying to her own vanity—say, The Fresh But Unintelligent Young Man Whose Body One Uses For One’s Pleasure Without Otherwise Taking Him Seriously—and then we could have pursued our business with no wounds inflicted on either side. As it was, my present feeling, though a good deal stronger, was essentially the same feeling one has when a filling-station attendant or a cabdriver launches into his life-story: As a rule, and especially when one is in a hurry or is grouchy, one wishes the man to be nothing more difficult than The Obliging Filling-Station Attendant or The Adroit Cabdriver. These are the essences you have assigned them, at least temporarily, for your own purposes, as a taleteller makes a man The Handsome Young Poet or The Jealous Old Husband; and while you know very well that no historical human being was ever just an Obliging Filling-Station Attendant or a Handsome Young Poet, you are nevertheless prepared to ignore your man’s charming complexities— must ignore them, in fact, if you are to get on with the plot, or get things done according to schedule. Of this, more later, for it is related to Mythotherapy. Enough now to say that we are all casting directors a great deal of the time, if not always, and he is wise who realizes that his role-assigning is at best an arbitrary distortion of the actors’ personalities; but he is even wiser who sees in addition that