The Doublet Affair (Ursula Blanchard Mysteries) Read Online Free PDF Page B

daughter, but not until May, when the spring gales have subsided. Until May, you must remain here. And you will of course keep your appointment with the Cecils tomorrow. Hear what Sir William has to say to you. I ask you, Ursula—most earnestly—to consider passing the time between now and May by doing the work he asks of you.”
    But I’ve finished with all that! I wanted to cry it aloud. I want to go to Matthew. Now!
    Elizabeth studied me searchingly, as though she were reading my mind. “Ursula, listen. I can’t tell you much about the task that Cecil and I have for you. He has the details. I know only that there is a hint abroad, a rumour—but it could mean that something serious is afoot, something that could endanger me and therefore England. Do you understand? I am just one person,” Elizabeth said. “Just one life. I have my councillors, like Cecil, and they are a bulwark to me, but inturn, I am a bulwark to England. Most of the time, I am happy to have it so. I was born for this. Sometimes, however, just now and then, I see myself in the mirror and what do I see? Just a slender, brittle young girl. Not much of a bulwark, when all is said and done. Then I feel afraid. I feel afraid, too, when it is brought home to me that there are those who not only wish me replaced, but are willing to plot to bring it about. Last year, and again in the last few weeks, you have uncovered schemes which could have endangered me greatly. The second one was a greater shock than the first. You know well enough why. I am asking for your help just once more. Go now, and talk with Cecil.” She turned away, picking up her pen. I was dismissed.
    I wanted to cry out in protest, but for complicated and contradictory reasons, I could do nothing of the kind. I couldn’t do it because it meant abandoning this slender, brittle girl who was afraid and needed my help; and I couldn’t do it because the same girl was also Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth, and I could not shout, “No, no, I can’t. May is a lifetime away—I want to be with Matthew now!” at the Queen of England.
    I did pause for a moment, but she did not look at me again. I had to go. I left the chamber, heartsick, silently pitying her, and raging at her, and wondering by what means I could manage to collect my child and get out of England without Her Majesty’s consent.
    • • •
    When Sir William Cecil wished to speak to me privately, he sometimes summoned me discreetly to his study at whichever residence the court happened to be using. The Queen continually shifted from one palaceto another, back and forth along the river between Greenwich, Whitehall, Richmond, Nonsuch, Hampton Court and Windsor, and to save constant travel up and down the river by barge, often in the rain, Cecil had rooms set aside for his use in each. He found this convenient even at Whitehall, which was so near to his house in Canon Row that when the Queen was at Whitehall, Cecil went home each evening to Lady Mildred.
    It was in those Whitehall rooms that I had met Alexander Bone, but Cecil had not then been free to talk to me and I must not make such visits too often. Hence the invitation, issued quite openly, to dine in Canon Row.
    Cecil must have had a message from Elizabeth regarding my unwillingness, as he sent an escort to make sure I came.
    “Paul Fenn, at your service, Mistress Blanchard,” said the young man who had presented himself at the nearest street entrance and enquired for me. He was about eighteen, handsome, with splendid teeth, except that two at the front were slightly crossed, and the beginnings of a moustache. He was smartly dressed, with a dashing blue velvet cap on his thick fair hair, and a matching cloak. I vaguely recognised him as a recent addition to the Cecil household. He was attentive and courteous, with the self-confident deference which you so often find in young men from families of standing. I may be only a boy as yet, his manner seemed to say, but one day I shall