“Why would you think that?”
“What am I supposed to think? You’ve been all secretive lately. You keep sneaking off and Cam seems to be in on it.”
“In on what?” My voice comes out louder than I intend and echoes down the hall, but there’s no disruption in the noise downstairs.
“Whatever’s going on with you. So I took a guess.”
“I’m not pregnant.”
“Okay.”
“Okay.”
We stand in the hall for an uncomfortably long minute, listening to the whir of the blender and the tinkling of ice mixed with conversation from downstairs. I stare at the white lace at her shoulder, avoiding her probing, brown eyes. I feel like I should apologize for being deceptive and vague, but that will only lead to questions as to what exactly I’m hiding and I’m not in the mood to deflect. For the first time since I drank five Coronas and threw up last Halloween, I actually want a drink.
“We should rejoin the living.”
“I guess,” she says. She walks back down the stairs and I follow, trying not to seethe. After all, I’m the bad guy here. I’m the liar.
Downstairs, the living room and kitchen are crowded with people who are spilling into the backyard. Melissa immediately attaches herself to Brian, who looks more interested in shuffling through Cam’s iPod, but he doesn’t push her away, either. Cam is laughing and talking to Justin, Josh, and a girl I know from my art class named Katrina, who wears the exact same purple band shirt I am, only in a very tight, smaller size.
I slip into the kitchen. Amy’s still there mixing drinks, and when she hands two cups off to Sandra, she turns to me.
“Whatcha drinking, sweetie?” Amy asks me.
“I don’t know.” I look at the bottles of booze. There’s a bottle of spiced rum. It’s what Cam and Justin prefer. Brian usually sticks to Hard Lemonade and Amy tries something new every week. I lift the white bottle of coconut rum. “This any good?”
“Oh, it’s great, especially in cola. Can’t even taste the alcohol.” She takes the bottle and mixes me a drink.
I can taste the alcohol, sharp and hot on my tongue, but it’s duller than most cocktails and it is pleasantly sweet. “Thanks.”
I wander into the living room. Melissa and Brian are gone and the whiny, alternative “rock” is back, but it’s drowned out by people talking and laughing. Josh is trying to juggle lemons out on the back porch, and people are cheering his name.
I join Cam, who’s now alone with Katrina, everyone else having wandered off. She takes one look at my t-shirt and beams. “Twins!” she says. “Isn’t that great?”
“Nicki hates EZ,” Cam says, putting his arm around my waist and pulling me against him.
Katrina frowns like she doesn’t know what to make of that and then spots someone she needs to talk to, running off.
“It looks sexy on you, though,” Cam says, leaning down to say it in my ear. His breath is hot, and while that’s usually sexy, it reminds me of Heather and I shudder.
“You have terrible taste,” I say, shoving him playfully away.
“You doing okay?” he asks. His face is the perfect picture of “concerned boyfriend.” I know if I said no, he’d shut off the music, kick everyone out, and end the party right then and there, which is why I love him. But being surrounded by people is comforting.
I nod and raise my plastic cup. “Even got a drink. I’m practically the life of the party.”
“Yeah? What’s your poison?” he asks.
“Malibu. It tastes sort of like tanning lotion, but it’s better than your spicy rum.” Cam makes a face, which plainly says I have lost several marbles, but doesn’t argue.
We end up joining some people in the den who are playing a round of Apples to Apples . I keep waiting to see that shock of auburn hair or see the gleam of sunglasses, but Azmos doesn’t show up. Conversation turns to college plans and the senior trip, and the game dissolves. I’m about to get up and get a glass of water