The Demise of Guys: Why Boys Are Struggling and What We Can Do About It Read Online Free PDF

unrealistic expectations and cripples us socially.”
    Pornography is the explicit portrayal of sexual subject matter meant to stimulate sexual arousal and satisfaction. Unlike art or erotica, porn has little artistic merit and is focused on the physical act of sex rather than feelings and emotions. Depictions of sex have been around since prehistoric times, but the concept of pornography was not widely understood until the latter half of the 19th century. The large-scale excavations of Pompeii in the 1860s kicked off discussions on what exactly qualified as obscene, resulting in many of the erotic objects discovered being carted away to private museums.
    The production of pornographic films quickly followed the invention of the motion picture in 1895. Quickly after that, sexually explicit materials were deemed obscene and made illegal, which continued through the 1960s. Today, access to pornographic material is limited to people over 18, though enforcing “community standards” is tricky, especially online. Most people would agree that hard-core pornography should not be available to children, but access to it — voluntary and involuntary — is difficult to regulate.
    In 1970, the total retail value of hard-core pornography in the United States was estimated to be $10 million. The porn industry revenues in 2006 were estimated at $13.3 billion. 86 Despite what appear to be large profits, industry executives say the business of porn is suffering these days due to the weak economy, piracy, and free or inexpensive porn available online. 87 While huge profits used to be made from hotel room adult entertainment and DVD sales, the market has shifted in favor of the affordability and anonymity that the Internet provides; porn is now only a click away. Technology has also made it easier to enter the industry; anyone who wants to have sex on camera can be a porn player — and if they’re any good at enticing viewers, a porn star.
    Can guys learn about sex from watching porn videos? Sure, somewhat. They can learn that sexual acts can be quite varied and, thereby, a continual source of pleasure over one’s lifetime by consensual experimentation with one’s partner. Beyond that, the take-away message from porn viewing is likely to be ego deflating because of the assumption that what you see is what is the norm, the acceptable way to perform, the appropriate way to relate to a sexual partner; worst of all, you see that size not only matters but dominates.
    Most Internet porn has no story line, no buildup to the sexual performance. There are no words, just actions. There is no suggestion that in real life there are romantic precursors, negotiations, discussions, tender moments, kissing, touching, complimenting and even just talking. Then there is the implicit understanding that the women wants sex as much or more than the male in the video, and she might even initiate unzipping him, take his pants off and start oral sex. That is not going to happen often in the real world.
    Imagine learning to play basketball by watching Orlando Magic’s Dwight Howard dunk over his adversaries, or baseball by watching all-star hitter Albert Pujols smack three mammoth home runs in the World Series. They are exceptional athletes with dominant bodies trained for years to be among the best in their profession. So they might inspire, but you learn the game by diligent practice on Little League fields or on playground courts with coaches and peers whose ability level, age and size are comparable to yours. In porn, male actors have enormous penises. They are selected for their size and stamina, and then likely take meds to enhance their arousal. What you don’t see are breaks in the action to change camera angles during which they may get “fluffed” by an assistant, take meds or get secondary assistance from vacuum pumps or penile injections. So, too, their seeming ability to perform nonstop for 20 minutes may also include offscreen timeouts.
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