The Dating Deal Read Online Free PDF Page B

a change.  Besides, I guess “The Deal” was supposed to be a secret.  The only person who knew besides Trent and me was Nina. 
     
    So, with my “I …” still hanging out there, instead of blabbing my secret, I made a quick change of plans, “like your shirt.”
     

chapter 7
     
     
     
     
    Today I planned to give Trent his cookies after third period, but when class was over, I couldn’t bring myself to do it.  I would have had to say something like, “Hey, Trent, wait up,” or something like that.  And I couldn’t get the words out.  Instead, I just watched him walk away, feeling like a dork/coward.
     
    Maybe that’s why it was so hard for me to let go of Conner.  He was the only boy I felt comfortable around.  And that was only because we had been together for so long.  It was different when he first moved into our ward.  I hadn’t really paid that much attention to him.  In fact, I couldn’t even remember his name.  All I could remember was that it started with a “C.”  I used to call him all sorts of strange things—Corey, Conrad, Chris.  Then, once, at a joint activity for mutual, I had to announce his name for a skit.  Only I introduced him as Cody.  Everyone laughed, including him, but I didn’t even realize what I’d done.  His name wasn’t Cody?
     
    Afterwards, I apologized.
     
    “That’s okay,” he said.  “You can call me whatever you want.”  He looked into my eyes.  “Just call me, okay?”
     
    I’d stared up at him with surprise, and he smiled.  “Or I could call you,” he said. “Only I guess you wouldn’t know who I was, the name’s Conner .”
     
    “Conner.  Right,” I murmured, my mind trying to grasp what was happening.  I’d just turned sixteen.  Finally old enough to date.  The only problem was, I looked about twelve.  But, looks aside, I could date if I wanted.  Only no one seemed interested.  Until now.  Conner seemed interested.
     
    “I was wondering if you want to go to the game with me tomorrow,” he said.  “You can call me Cody if you want.”
     
    And so that’s what I always called him, Cody.  I don’t think I ever called him Conner once.  Not back then, while we were dating.  But now things are different.  Now I take great effort to think of him as “Conner.” After all, we aren’t together anymore.  Now he’s supposed to be just a boy to me, like any other.  Nothing special.  So I revoked his special name. Only, it’s still kind of hard for me to think of him as Conner.  In my heart, it seems he’ll always be Cody.
     
    *  *  *  *  *
     
    “I can’t believe you wimped out on giving Trent his cookies,” Nina complained at lunch.  “You promised.  And it would have been your first time to give him cookies in person.  It would have been like a stepping stone or something.”
     
    I looked at her like, huh?
     
    “Well, you know, we used to give them to him anonymously.  But now, it was going to be like a new phase in your life, giving them to him in person.  A milestone, saying, ‘You’ve come a long ways, Baby’ or something like that.”
     
    I got what she was saying.  I did.  And, yeah, maybe it would have been a maturity-thing for me, a turning of the page in my book of life or whatever.  Maybe.  But I didn’t have time to think about it because just then Trent sat down beside me and my brain turned to Jell-O.
     
    “Where’s my cookies?” he said.
     
     “Cody called me yesterday!” I told him excitedly, getting the cookies out of my backpack.
     
    Trent raised an eyebrow at me quizzically, “Who?”
     
    “Oh, um—Conner.”
     
    Trent grinned.  “No wonder you guys broke up.  You can’t even remember the poor guy’s name.”
     
    “That’s her ‘special’ name for him,” Nina explained.  “She’s been calling him that forever.”
     
    “But not anymore,” I told them, as though I had made a life altering decision.  “He’s lost his ‘special name’