The Darker Side of Pleasure Read Online Free PDF

Cam.”
    “Yes, you can. And it’s about time. You have to share this part of yourself with me, too. Don’t you get it? If you don’t, it’ll always be there between us.”
    “It’s too hard!”
    “You have to do this. It’s the only way you’ll come back to me.”
    Was that a note of desperation in his voice? Cam, who was always so strong, who could handle anything? Her heart melted a little at the thought. She was hurting him. She’d known it before, in a distant kind of way. Now she began to understand that losing the baby had been hard on him, too.
    “Jillian, talk to me. I can’t lose you again, after just beginning to get you back. Come on, honey. We’ve lost too much already. Too much time, too much of each other.”
    “I know.” She sniffled, and Cam grabbed a tissue from the nightstand and put it into her hand. “I’m trying. And this was…wonderful. It was the first time in so long I’ve felt even vaguely good. Maybe it was too good.”
    “Too good?” She could hear the hurt in his voice.
    “I mean that it’s such a contrast to the way I’ve been feeling for so long, it’s a shock. To feel good. To feel close to you again.”
    The room was almost entirely dark now. The sun had set and the only light came from the candles burning on the dresser. She felt dark inside, too, yet the darkness of the room was welcoming, womblike. She couldn’t have faced Cam now, in the stark light of day.
    He was stroking her hair, kissing the top of her head, and she allowed herself to relax into his embrace. To feel the safety of him. This was her own fault, she knew. It was her body that hadn’t been able to hang on to their baby, and her selfish grief that had driven a wedge between them. It was time to try to make it all right. And she would try. She wasn’t as sure of her strength as Cam seemed to be. But she knew she could lean on him, on his strength. He was always there for her. She needed to appreciate that more. She was so damn lucky.
    “I love you, Cam. So much!”
    He paused, as though he was surprised at her words.
    “I love you, too, honey. You know I do. Come on. Lie down with me. Rest. I’ll be right here.”
    She snuggled into his strong arms. She wanted to learn to trust him again, to learn to trust herself. She didn’t know how long it would take. She only knew it would be hard. But here she was, with her wonderful husband: a man who loved her in a way she didn’t truly deserve. She tried to remember why, but her mind began to drift, and soon, she was fast asleep.
     

     
    Sometime in the night Jillian awoke. Cam’s arms were still wrapped around her as he spooned her from behind. His cock was hard again. His deep, even breathing told her that he slept. She tried to relax back into sleep, too, but she couldn’t. Her body was too aware of him. She pressed her buttocks back, pushing and rubbing against his thick erection. She wasn’t even sure he was awake when his hand snaked down between her aching thighs and he began to play gently with her. She moved her thighs apart to grant him better access. His hips thrust against her, his big cock seeking entrance. Moving her buttocks higher and her leg up, she arched against his hips until she could guide his cock into her already wet and ready sex. He pushed into her slowly. The pleasure was exquisite, yet it was all softer and sweeter than it had been earlier.
    Cam gave her a sleepy kiss on the top of her head as he began to move. His cock was thick and heavy inside her. His fingers glided over her swollen clit, sliding in the damp heat. Her whole body was filled with sensation. Sharp, electric. The dual sensations were incredible, taking her quickly toward the peak. She pushed back into him, onto his hot and throbbing shaft. His hand followed her movement, rubbing, rubbing on her tight, hard nub as he thrust harder into her.
    She felt his sharp intake of breath just as the first wave of orgasm hit her. He pounded into her, filling her to