The Dark Lake Read Online Free PDF Page B

closed her eyes and laid her head back against the pillowed chair. As if to say, I’ve wasted this much time, I might as well continue, Gay resumes her struggle with the arm, the dripping candle wax, and the dragon pipe.
    ***
    “Snap out of it, Jane, come back to the present. Why were you out by the carp ponds?”
    “What was the question?”
    “Why were you out by the carp ponds?”
    "Well," I began, still focusing on her small , dark mask set on the desk, "I, um … it didn't seem … it wasn't scary out there …"
    "It sounds a bit like the start of your dream."
    "No,” I said. "The dream always starts out at the party. For some reason it seems like the last party before everyone began to drift away ."
    "The Beatles versus the Stones face-off?"
    "Yes.” I laughed.
    " Things often have a deeper meaning than appears on the surface ."
    "True, and this sure seemed to. You see, we'd been arguing about this for years. Who was better? And sometimes I would get so confused because she seemed to really like the Beatles … oh this sounds so ridiculous."
    "Not at all," Miriam reassured. "Go on. Before we run out of time today. Don't worry about how it sounds."
    "Well they all did , you know: Ziggy, Krishna, Gay, everyone. They all loved the Beatles. But I guess it came down to whether they loved the Stones more. This really bothered me . I think it was because they loved something about jadedness and cynicism more than innocence ."
    "Good.”
    "Well, we decided to have it out once and for all."
    "And you lost count of your drinks,” Miriam said . “You were drinking very heavily that night. More than usual. Why were you drinking heavier than usual, Jane?"
    "I'm very thirsty, I'm sorry, I can't go on with this till I get a drink of water."
    "Well why don't you try. We are going to have to stop soon and you …"
    "I … I can't ; I'm sorry. I am so thirsty. I have to go. I have to go to work now. I don't want to get disoriented and end up missing work. I was late yesterday."
    But I didn't have to be to work for a couple hours. I knew that Miriam knew this too, but she didn’t stop me when I got up to leave. I left without using my full hour, but I had to get water, and I had to get out of there.
    Dad sat in a lawn chair on the freshly mown grass reading a book when I drove up. I went directly through the back porch though, so I didn’t speak to him.
    "Well you're home early. Aren't you supposed to go to work?” Mom asked.
    "Not till three."
    "How did your session go?"
    "Okay."
    "How was the meeting last night?"
    "Good, I guess."
    "I was worried about you when you didn't get home till 2 :00 a.m."
    "You shouldn't worry about me —I'm an adult."
    "That's true. It's time to grow up, Jane ."
    "Uh huh. Do we have any pop? Juice? Anything? I'm so thirsty. Lemonade?"
    "I don't know—whatever's in there, I guess."
    I opened the door and felt the cool air come out. It was refreshing, but there wasn't anything to drink. Just milk.
    "Milk isn't thirst-quenching."
    "Well if that's all we have , then that's all we have."
    "I guess I'll have to go to the store, which is too bad ; I barely have time." I thought maybe if I looked in there a little longer something might appear.
    Nothing in the fridge . I decided to walk to Walker’s.
    Walking to Walker's , I could still hear the echo of Krishna’s laughter. She thought Walker’s was the funniest thing ever, because there was a huge, 1950s-style, garish painting of a woman in a dress and pearls shopping, and underneath it said, “Walker’s, the largest grocery store on New York Avenue.”
    Why wouldn’t she answer the phone? I needed to tell her about my dream.
    I bought a big, cold jug of lemonade—so nice to buy it with my own money. To not feel a single twinge of guilt when I bought it. To not have to explain.
    If this job worked out for me , maybe I could move into my own apartment. For all my talk, I had never done that. And you couldn't exactly call a room at the state hospital