The Curse of Babylon Read Online Free PDF Page B

with it. ‘Can’t do that,’ I said firmly. ‘It’s a very fine piece of writing – yes, very fine: important source material for historians, and all that.’ I changed the subject. ‘But, Jeremy, you’ve taken my dictation in English. It really is time for you to climb down that ivy and run off to spread my news of today’s proceedings. You can start in the alehouse beside the western gate.’
    Oh, shit! Someone was coming up the stairs. ‘Get under the bed,’ I whispered. ‘Try not to breathe.’
    Of my three visitors, Ambrose was first through the door. ‘Oh, but it’s the greatest honour that ever was,’ he bawled. ‘To think our monastery’s been chosen above all others in the land.’ He staggered from the drink he’d been soaking up, and nearly fell over. He gave me a look of slow-witted confusion. ‘Why are you burning lamps this time of night?’ he asked. ‘Don’t you know the price of mutton fat?’
    ‘Sod off, Ambrose!’ I yawned. ‘And shut the door, and let me hear you go downstairs.’
    I ignored Gebmund, who was looking utterly crushed, but smiled into the angry though scared face of young Aelfwine. ‘Greetings, My Lord Aelfwine,’ I said. ‘I take it you’re standing in for Cousin Swaefheard. I’ve heard ever so much about him in the months I’ve been stuck in his kingdom. Diplomacy isn’t one of his strengths. But I’m sure you can supply that in his place. Sorry we’re right out of anything to drink – not that I suppose this is a family get-together.’
    Aelfwine sat on my bed. Was that a yelp I heard? ‘Why are you fucking us over, Aelric?’ he asked. ‘We’ve done nothing to you. Just confess to keep old Theodore happy. We’ll see you right about the penance. You are family, after all.’
    I told my shaking fingers to behave and turned the lamp full up. Aelfwine had a face like thunder. I smiled again. I waved about the bare room. ‘Stop listening to silly old Theodore,’ I said, ‘and I’ll stop making you choose between a massacre of King Swaefheard’s loving subjects and having to explain to His Holiness in Rome why half of Canterbury is a pile of smouldering ashes.’
    Gebmund found his voice ‘Brother Aelric – My Lord Alaric: whatever it most pleases you to be called,’ he cried in gentle panic. ‘It has been brought to His Majesty’s notice that you have information affecting the welfare of his kingdom. In the Church, or out of the Church, I really like to think of us all as one big happy family. We’ve come here in a spirit of loving concern to see how we can resolve any issues that might otherwise draw us into a more confrontational relationship. I – we . . .’ He trailed off and looked miserably at the floor.
    I’d been wondering when I’d get the representatives of church and state suing for peace. There’s a time for subtle diplomacy, and a time for bluntness. Time, obviously, for the latter. ‘I can prove,’ I said, ‘that, behind his show of holiness, our late Cousin Sophronius was up to his neck in a scam that could get the two of you run out of Kent.’ I stopped and waited for Gebmund to take his hands from over his ears. ‘For the past three years, he paid regular visits from Rome to Canterbury. Each time, he selected seven of the prettiest boys he could find and promised their parents a life for them in one of the papal choirs. However, he was packing them off to Spain for castration and sale to dealers who’d then sell them on to the Saracens. Instead of singing chaste hymns of praise to Christ and the Virgin, those who didn’t die from the operation and of other causes have been performing lewd dances for the unbelievers, and having their mouths and bottoms used for various modes of sinful gratification.’
    I stopped again and waited for the full horror to sink in. ‘I won’t claim that either of you knew about this, or that you were on the take. But it’s a sure thing that you never asked Sophronius for news of the