The Convenience of Lies Read Online Free PDF Page A

realizes that I'm not gypping him. He takes his sweet time about sitting up and giving me a place to lie down on the bed.
    Then he says, “How long? Ten minutes?”
    I laugh to myself because I think it's kind of obvious. “Well I massaged you for ten minutes, so yeah.”
    “Okay.” He starts rubbing my back, and I relax into it. But the whole time I'm thinking that I wish he liked me. I wish that it meant something to him. I wonder if he really wanted me to give him his massage, or if he just didn't know how to say 'no' to me. I tell myself to just not think about it, and enjoy all that I can get. After all, besides kissing a guy, this is the farthest I have ever gone with one.
    I also can't believe when my massage is done because the time flew by. But, I move to the side, and he lies down next to me in my bed. We lie there, and even though I have a twin size bed, we manage to not touch each other at all. Something I also try to not notice, because I wish he is holding me. Eventually we fall asleep. Or rather, he falls asleep. I am such a light sleeper that I just doze; I have trouble falling asleep for any small reason at all.
    I don't know how much time passes, but the sky is lightening up as he leaves. I wish that he could stay all night, but I know that won't happen. I don't think it'll ever happen because he doesn't like me. I've liked him for three months, and he still doesn't like me. So, I know that I'll never get what I want from him. Or at least this is what I am telling myself.
    Deep inside, I can't help but think that he
does
like me because he
did
give me a massage and sleep in my bed. I'm thinking that he must like me to be able to do that with me. Ramon really knows how to make my head spin. Aren't girls the ones who are supposed to be confusing in a relationship?
    Still thinking all of this, I go to bed. It's about six in the morning or so.
    My eyes fly open around 11:00 am. I'm not quite sure what woke me up, but I'm expecting to get a call from Kira about the letter. Just as I think this, my cell phone beeps twice, and I know I have gotten a text message. I pick up the phone, congratulating myself on my perfect time to wake up. I see it's from Kira's Mom's cell, and read the message, “dont forget julies anatomy book!” Kira had given me her textbook for the summer homework, and I am supposed to give it to our friend Julie.
    “r u mad at me?” I text in reply. All I want to know at this point is whether or not Kira is still pissed at me because I don't want to have an unresolved fight while she is off in Russia.
    “u cannot mend my broken heart,” she says. Talk about over dramatic!
    So, I text, “i NEED 2 talk 2 u cuz it seems like ur not listening 2 anything im sayin.”
    She replies by telling me to call her, which surprises me. I call her house, which is what I usually call, and she doesn't pick up. I call her mom's cell phone, and she still doesn't pick up. I figure she's still mad at me and honestly doesn't want to talk to me, so I stop trying to call her and finally wander out into my kitchen to start my day.
    I see seven new messages on our message machine. Seven! So, I listen to them, and the first one is Kira,
of course
. She's telling me that she's not at all mad at me. At hearing this, I'm about to kick myself because I would have done anything to get that phone call. But, I'm even more ready to go die after I hear the rest of the messages. In intervals of about twenty minutes after Kira's first call, we had received a hang up call.
    By now I'm sure that even if Kira had been cool with me in the morning, she is mad now because I didn't pick up the phone. Of course I instantly try to call her again. She doesn't answer. I look at the clock, and it's 11:45; her plane left at 11:30. I curse myself for staying up all night with Ramon. If I had gotten proper sleep, the phone ringing would have woken me up. Now I'm stuck still in the middle of a fight for two months that I could have resolved