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thigh of my jeans. I had never wanted anything as much as I wanted to be at that table right then. If I could just enter that inner sanctum, every door at Easton would open up to me. I would never have to worry about being accepted or fitting in. I would be leaving my own crappy, depressing home life so far behind maybe i could manage to forget it altogether.

TRADITION
    Easton was a nondenominational school, but it had been founded by Presbyterians back in the early nineteenth century. According to the catalog, they had discontinued group prayer in the 1990s, but they still called the morning, school-wide gathering “morning services.” The daily assembly was held in the ancient chapel at the center of campus, surrounded by the class buildings, the offices of the instructors and deans, the gym, cafeteria, and library—all of which I was eager to explore. Beyond this circle were the dorms, beyond them the playing fields, and beyond them the mountains and trees and clear blue sky. It was a hot morning, normal for early September, but as we stepped through the arched doorway and into the chapel, it was like walking into a cave. Goosebumps popped out all over my skin as the cool air washed over me and I shivered in my lightweight T-shirt. Suddenly, I understood why most students had brought along cardigans or jackets. The high walls were made of cold, musty gray stone and the slim stained-glass windows only allowed the most minor shafts of sunlight to enter.
    I hugged myself as I passed by the Billings Girls. Ariana was in the very last pew, reading, while Kiran and Taylor sat near the center of the chapel—Kiran studying her face in a compact mirror, Taylor scribbling in a notebook. Noelle was nowhere to be seen. It was odd, seeing them separated like this. I felt as if they were one entity and should always be by one another’s sides. I took my seat with my dorm-mates near the center of the pews.
    “We sit according to class. Boys on the left, girls on the right,” Diana explained as we settled in. Her roommate, a girl named Kiki who could have been Diana’s longer-haired twin, but wasn’t, sat down next to her. I had yet to see Kiki without her iPod. She kept time to the music with her chin as she slumped down in her seat. “Up there are the frosh, behind us are the juniors. and then the seniors are in back.”
    I nodded. So Kiran and Taylor were juniors and Ariana, a senior. I assumed Noelle was as well. But where had she disappeared to?
    “It’s so archaic, separating us,” Missy said, glancing across at the guys. “What are we gonna do, have sex while they’re reading off the morning announcements?”
    “Well, you might,” Lorna joked. She glanced at Missy warily after making her joke, waiting for her reaction.
    Missy scoffed, but smiled. Lorna looked relieved.
    Sitting on benches up near the lectern were at least two dozen adults, including Ms. Naylor, Ms. Ling, and Dean Marcus, whom I recognized from his picture in the Easton catalog. Clearly the others were teachers, advisors, and deans. Most of them looked stern, judgmental, sour, and wrinkly. A no-nonsense group.
    I glanced around for Thomas but didn’t see him among the seniors. Hanging on the walls between the windows were long, black velvet banners, each decorated with the Easton crest and a graduating class’s year. Below the year were two names, one female, one male. I was about to ask what those names signified when the double doors to the church closed, darkening the room even further. Everyone hushed and faced forward, so I did the same. A sense of heavy reverence descended upon the crowd and an anticipatory warmth overcame me. Out from two opposing doors at the front of the church walked two boys, freshmen from the look of them, carrying candles that they used to light four lanterns near the lectern. These lanterns gave off a surprising amount of light and bathed everyone in a warm, cozy glow.
    As soon as the lanterns were lit, there was a