The Charity Read Online Free PDF Page B

of what happened were sketchy and she wanted to keep it that way. She grabbed the uninvited visions around their spindly necks and shoved them back into the darker and less explored recesses of her mind. Despite her skill at suppressing the memories, some still surfaced through the panic attack. An image of her father with Dark Irish the day they won the MassCap at Suffolk Downs melded into an image of an animal in her mother’s car. She recalled how she and Gus had conspired to keep her home and not visit her aunt that day. Without that whim of conspiracy, Jessica would be dead as well.
    She forced the grief to flow out of her, hoping to empty herself of the chronic ache. The memories of the funerals muddled into one, and finally sharpened into focus on her aunt’s a few months before. Her blonde head shook at the irony of her life. As hard as she tried not to visit her aunt on many occasions, it was just Jessica’s luck that her parents had named Bridget as her guardian.
    Jessica had grown to love her aunt, but she never learned to understand her. It seemed that Bridget’s fine manners and smooth exterior were cultivated for reasons more to do with camouflage than etiquette. As gracious as Bridget was to any guest, she never let anyone except for Anna feel too welcomed. Jessica attributed the distance and control Bridget conducted her relationships with to just not feeling well enough to take on more.
    Now Jessica was alone in the world, except for Gus. She looked to Gus as the head of the farm and bowed to his judgment on matters of training and racing. But it was more than just casual attention Gus gave Jessica. She felt his genuine love for her. Whenever she expressed gratitude for his being there for her, Gus would simply answer, “I wish I could do more for you, Jessie.”
    Gus understood her in a way that did not need words. In the years following the accident, Jessica tried many ways to cope with her searing grief and the pitying eyes of people when they learned of her misfortune. She hated their charity and tried to show them that she was okay. She started riding more and more challenging horses on tougher and tougher terrain. Doing so forced her to focus on the horse and land, not on her own thoughts. She competed in cross-country riding events and grueling endurance challenges. Just training herself and her horses for these marathon three day events kept her mind and body occupied. Her frenzied training was for healing and Gus never tried to interfere. He understood and supported her.
    A branch from a tree whipped across her face and slapped her back to the present. She realized suddenly that Blue Jeep was laboring up this last hillside and was lathered with sweat from his efforts. Slowing the gelding to a trot, she turned for home, taking care to steer her tired mount around tree stumps and rocks in his path.
    It was her favorite time of day. The sun would be setting soon and it seemed as if all the creatures in the woods were making the final preparations for night. Within the lengthening shadows, Jessica could detect the nervous little scurrying of chipmunks and squirrels as they gathered up their nightly meals and made their way to their nests. The air was freshened with the cooler temperature of nightfall. Bringing the horse to a walk, Jessica allowed herself to feast in the scene of the long shafts of light filtering through the trees and to enjoy the earthy smells of the forest. The steady breathing of the horse, the rhythm of its gait, the creak of her leather tack, and the occasional sharp click of a shod hoof against a rock lulled her.
    The woods behind her, the rolling meadow stretched ahead. She pulled Blue Jeep to a stop on the top of a small knoll and surveyed the scene. The hillside sloped gently away from her, joining another hill below. The practice tracks were empty as it was feeding time in the barns. Along the crest of a second hill, a stone wall made its casual way back into the