The Cane Mutiny Read Online Free PDF Page B

back on the ship and the show they’ll see that night. So what you want to do is walk right behind them on the right side—a woman always carries her purse on her right, unless she’s a leftie—and then you cut the straps of her purse with one hand and catch it with theother. Then you fall back and let the crowd surge around you.”
    â€œHey,” one of the hookers called from her corner of the cell, “how much can you make in a day?”
    Geraldine smiled. “It’s not just the cash, but the credit cards. Some I use, others I fence. But I’d say it averages out to a thousand bucks a day.”
    â€œNo way,” the hooker said.
    â€œCaroline,” her pal said, “maybe we oughta switch professions.”
    Everyone laughed, myself included. I was surprised at how well-spoken all three women were. The prostitutes were dressed in provocative clothing and wore excessive makeup, but toned down they could easily have passed for middle-aged housewives. And that’s exactly what Geraldine appeared to be.
    All three of them were more normal in appearance than Mama in her crinolines, pink gloves (it was not yet Easter), and flowered hat. But it was Mama who bailed me out of jail.
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    â€œMama, promise me you won’t tell Greg.”
    â€œDon’t be silly, dear. You have a hearing scheduled for next week. Besides, he’ll probably read it in the police briefs.”
    â€œThanks, Mama, you really know how to comfort a gal.”
    â€œYou’re being sarcastic again, aren’t you, Abby?”
    â€œYou think?”
    She drove, silent for a few minutes. The police station is not that far from my house, but the volume of tourists in azalea season can bog up traffic so bad that walking is sometimes quicker. A friend of ours flees the city with the first onslaught of spring tourists, not returning until well after Labor Day.
    â€œDarling,” Mama began, “just listen to me for a minute, will you?” The D word is how Mama prefaces her requests, as well as how she issues her demands.
    â€œMama, I’m tired; both physically and emotionally.”
    â€œThat’s exactly what I’m getting to, dear. You need someone to help you.”
    â€œC.J. is all the help I need. And she’s taking a three day honeymoon. Is that what you’re thinking of, Mama?”
    â€œGracious no, Abby. My feet would kill me if I had to stand around all day like you do. I’m talking about helping you with your investigation.”
    â€œMy what ?”
    â€œAbby, need I remind you that I gave birth to you?”
    â€œMama—”
    â€œDon’t whine, dear. It’s not becoming a lady. My point is that I know exactly what you’re going to do next. You’re heading straight out to Johns Island to interrogate the owner of Safe-Keepers Storage.”
    â€œI am?”
    â€œCertainly. And then you’re going to track down the owner of the barrel that contained the skull. I know, C.J. says it is just a gorilla skull, but you got arrested for having it in your possession because the Tweedles, who are dumber than dirt, say it’s human. Darling, is there the slightest chance they could be right?”
    â€œNot the slightest—well, maybe a minute chance. We were watching Jeopardy! together once and she got a question wrong. But Ken Jennings missed that one too.”
    â€œThere, you see? We have to proceed as if it was the worst case scenario, because I can’t have you watching your brother’s wedding from behind bars.”
    â€œMama, they won’t send me to prison for finding an animal skull in a gym bag.”
    â€œYou’re not so sure. That’s why you’re headed to Safe-Keepers Storage. You plan to drag the owner to the police station and make him swear to the fact that he sold you the gym bag containing the skull. This gets you off the hook, thehearing is canceled, and Greg will be none the