The California Club Read Online Free PDF

his microwave at the same time. Other men seem to wait for me to finish my sentence and then change the subject. Not Elliot, he never cuts to the chase. He gets comfy and gives himself over to the conversation, prepared to follow any meandering tangents wherever they may lead. He's always there for advice (especially if you're considering purchasing anything technology-related), general trivia and playfulness (he's basically a big kid). And he gossips like a girl. What could be better?
    On the downside … Well, if you were nitpicking you might mention his tummy – you know those tiny paunches on an otherwise slim physique? But I'm so fond of his I look upon it as a portable puppy. And he does take ‘going with the flow’ to a new kind of extreme. Sometimes I wish he was a bit more of go-getter than afternoon-napper but I’d rather his laid-back persona over an Alpha male who always has to be right and in control of every detail of his life. That’s just way too stressful for me. The only really bad thing about him, the thing that really gets my goat, is that he's not in love with me.
     
     
    I sigh and flick through the channels. There's a sex scene on one but the man next to me is watching the same writhing bods so I can't possibly stay on that channel – it'd be like sidling up beside someone at a peep show. Suddenly a hand reaches back and wriggles its fingers at me. Elise would call it stretching, I call it shoving her engagement ring in my face.
    I scoot forward and reach my hand over the seat to snaffle a chocolate Brazil from Sasha's pick'n'mix but find Elise's other hand in the bag. It's like one of those amusement arcade grabbers, only her claw has actually secured a great cluster of booty. I sit back in my seat and watch her feeding Elliot – one fizzy cola bottle for every five she gobbles down. I find all this relationship stuff bewildering. He's known her less than a year and she gets all these great perks – the whole intimate/physical/sexual side to him that I can only fantasize about – and if she marries him (hark at me clinging to ‘if’, not yet ready for 'when') she goes one step further and gets official ownership. I can’t even imagine what it must be like to be able to stake that love claim and say – ‘He’s mine!’ To really feel you belong to each other. Elliot's my friend but he's not mine. And if he marries Elise he never will be.
    Awash with self-pity, I decide it would be wise to dilute the alcohol with some water, so I dip into the galley to help myself to a plastic cupful. Sipping slowly, I stare out the window at the everlasting expanse of rusty peaked earth and the tiny improbable villages set in various crooks in the river. Other worlds. Other populations. Other men.
    I have thought about trying to find someone else I can call my own but the thing that seems to be holding me back is that I don't know how to un-love Elliot. If I don't see him for a while I still get a flutter at the first sight of him. Still? People say to me, 'You're still in love with Elliot?' And I just pull a 'Whodathunkit?' face but what I want to say is, 'Why do you think it's going to go away? This is true love. It’s everlasting!' However inconvenient and heart-denting that might be.
    So the upshot is that I've settled into an acceptance of the situation – I know he doesn't feel the same way but I'm going to love him regardless.
    I take a breath. Maybe I should try and get some sleep? Quick wee and then I’ll settle in for the duration. I’m approaching the toilet when the door folds back on itself and Sasha squeezes out, looking suspiciously damp of eye.
    'It was the movie – it was really sad,' she blusters, noticing my concern and hurrying back to her seat before I can remind her that she was watching the classic comedy channel.
    It must be the altitude, I shrug, contorting myself into the cubicle. Time to take a long, hard look at myself in the mirror. I recoil instantly – airplane