The Bullet Trick Read Online Free PDF

exasperation. 'Calm yourself, Sergeant. I’ve told you that you’re married, but as you’ve confirmed we’ve never met before so there’s no way I could tell you the name of your wife.'
     
    A voice came from the audience. Not unless you saw it written on the wall of the gents.
     
    Andy shouted, 'Oi, watch it.' Taking the joke in good part.
     
    I held up my hand for order.
     
    'I see a good-looking woman …’ The crowd ooohed obligingly again and I traced an S in the air, making it sexy like the cartoon outline of a woman’s body. 'Her name is… Sarah… no not Sarah, something similar, Suzie… Suze… Susannah.' The man’s face was pleasingly bemused. He nodded and the crowd clapped. I held up my hand, silencing them. 'You have children… two lovely daughters… Hai… Hail… Hailey and Re-e-e-e-Rebecca.' Andy was smiling now, nodding his head to the room. Again the applause and again I held my hands up to stop them. 'You also have a dog?' This was dodgy, dogs die more often than the wife and kids, but the group photo I’d lifted from his wallet with the names of its subjects obligingly written on the back in neat pen looked pretty recent. Andy nodded. 'Your dog is called …’ I hesitated a beat beyond the audience’s expectation and the room grew still, half-hoping I’d make it, half-hoping I’d fail. 'Your dog is called, 'Peeler!'
     
    'The small audience erupted into applause and I bowed, relieved to find policemen as gullible as the rest. 'How’re we doing for time, Sergeant?'
     
    Andy looked at his wrist, and then looked at me.
     
    'Has anyone got the time?' There was a confusion of murmurs as the men I’d selected each noticed their missing wristwatches. 'Ach, it’s fine, I’ve got it here.'
     
    I pulled up my left cuff to reveal the half-dozen watches fastened round my wrist. As things go, they were a good audience. I fed them more facts from filched wallets, keeping the action brief and cheeky, then kicked into the finale.
     
    'Now, I know you’re keen to see The Divines.' There was a stamping of feet and a jungle-drumming of hands against tables. 'Let me assure you they are most definitely divine. But first I’ve got another young lady I’d like you to meet. Welcome to the lovely, the delicious, the truly scrumptious Miss Candy Flossy.'
     
    Candy slunk in doing her best impersonation of a vamp. She would have looked prettier if she’d smiled, but she was doing me a favour. I grabbed her by the hips, putting myself behind her bulk and doing a leer over her shoulder for the benefit of the audience.
     
    'Candy’s agreed to help me out.'
     
    There were a few wolf whistles and catcalls.
     
    You can help me out anytime love.
     
    You can touch my truncheon.
     
    Feel my new extending baton.
     
    Try on my handcuffs.
     
    Play with my helmet.
     
    And I thought that perhaps they weren’t such a pleasant audience after all.
     
    There are many ways to cut a lady in half. If you have the resources you can fashion jazzy coffins fixed with bewilderments and employ a girl who can contort herself so well it’s a waste to put her in a box. But my brand of the effect relied on a not-so-innocent-looking buzz-saw of the type you might see in an old-fashioned sawmill. It was an appearance of mere penetration where others managed dismemberment. But the kind of audiences I entertained were amused by it.
     
    I steeled a serious tone to my voice and said, 'My final trick is so dangerous that only a very few members of the magic circle are initiated into its secrets. Should my concentration be disturbed at any point during its execution,' Candy shuddered and I put my hand on her shoulder, 'this young lady might lose one of her lovely limbs,' I hooked the hem of Candy’s dress with my wand and slid it upwards. She smacked my hand away before I’d revealed more than her calves. I gave the wand an impatient slap. 'I’m sorry. My wand has a life of its own. But I’m sure you’ll agree, gentlemen,