The Brothers Crunk Read Online Free PDF

small daggers in the world’s most bizarre knife-fight. When their beaks open they dry heave and terror-screech so loudly it reverberates throughout the cab of the blue Caddy.
     
    A smile forms in the corner of Vandenboom’s mouth. He taps a few buttons on the NES controller in his forearm. He raises his right hand high into the air. The robococks bob their heads left and right, hissing and coughing, readying their attack. Vandenboom’s fingers twist around one another, his palm folds over until his bones crack and shift. His arm extends and out through his fist rips a terrible metal point, peeling back his skin like a banana and revealing itself as a large spinning drill.
     
    The robococks seem unaffected by this sight and continue their threatening stalk. One of them lurches toward Vandenboom. He grabs the bird’s head in his remaining fist and crushes it violently. Its body falls limply to the ground. Immediately the rest of the flock attacks him, pecking at Divey’s loose hanging skin, ripping it from Vandenboom’s body and tossing it to the dirt.
     
    Reynold slowly opens the door of the Caddy, making sure not to direct any attention to himself. He drops to the ground and crawls closer to the cloud of dust surrounding the chaotic fight. Death-screeches echo throughout the junkyard as Vandenboom rips apart the birds one by one. Just as Reynold reaches the pile of Divey’s skin, Vandenboom drills a hole straight through the body of a robocock and sparks and blood and flesh and feathers all rain down onto him from above. Reynold cups his hand over his mouth to keep from screaming out loud, grabs the skin pile, and sprints back to the Caddy, frantically jumping again into the backseat.
     
    Vandenboom crams the head of one of the robococks into the beak of another and then squeezes. Its brains blow out the top of its skull like a cork from a champagne bottle. The brains get caught in the throat of the other, causing it to suffocate and eventually collapse. Some of the robococks shoot electricity from their mechanical eyeballs, but fail to inflict any pain registering higher than that of static electricity shock. He stabs them three at a time with his forearm drill, turning them into meaty metal kabobs. As the drill spins, bits of meat and feathers flurry into the air, splatter-painting the landscape with their lifeblood. He slings the corpses off his arm to join the others at his feet. Thirty dead at his hand and he hardly took a step. He tosses the carcasses in a single pile and returns to digging through the scraps, not missing a beat.
     
    It’s quiet now.
     
    Reynold lies down in the backseat and holds his brother’s remains above him.
     
    “ Fack man, we had a good run.” He rolls up the skin and folds his arms across his chest, snuggling with it. “Yeah man, great run.”
     
     
     

 
     
    TWELVE
     
    SWALLOWED BY NIGHT
     
     
     
    Light from the campfire traces the outline of Vandenboom’s body. He scoops up one of the robocock corpses and digs his fingers deep beneath the skin, pulling out the feathers and machine parts, leaving only the meat and bone. He hovers the remains over the fire for a few minutes, barely browning the outside skin before tearing into the flesh with his fingers, slurping the warm raw meat into his mouth piece by piece.
     
    Reynold’s stomach begins to growl as he watches Vandenboom from a distance. The glitter from the gore he shovels into his mouth causes saliva to form at the corners of Reynold’s lips. A mean hunger strangles his innards. His organs, as if they themselves had developed lungs and mouths of their own, begin to moan and croak with such ferocity that Reynold lies down on the floorboard in fear it might attract the attention of Vandenboom.
     
    Several minutes pass.
     
    “ Hey Rey, I think he’s . . . yeah, he’s definitely going to sleep,” whispers Pete from the front seat. “Haha! Now get out there and fetch us some dinner, man. I’m fucking