The Bride Experiment Read Online Free PDF

out of her heart, read the Bible every day, worship God regularly, and drink a glass of wine with dinner, occasionally.
    In Tisha’s world, people that drank were lumped into one big category: drunks who needed to run to the next AA meeting. Joan looked down at her perfectly plated fish on her thirty-dollar plate, and her fifty-dollar champagne in her hundred-dollar Austrian crystal glass. She stood up from her $7,000 table, leaving her meal untouched.
    This elegant dinner for one was not making the anxiety she started feeling this morning go away. As she was going through her son’s things, she had found James’s wedding invitation. She read it, over and over, touching the engraved writing and admiring the texture of the expensive paper. How many times had she imagined her name on a wedding invitation with his? Twenty-four hours ago, Joan was so sure of herself; now she could feel the tears forming in her eyes. Joan plopped down on her sofa, buried herself underneath the oversized pillows, and grabbed her journal from off the end table:
    God, why does it still hurt? So many blessings have come into my life since meeting you, but I still find myself longing for something more. Just when I thought I was over him, I had to come face-to-face with this wedding. I could go days or even weeks without having lingering thoughts about him. But now he is constantly floating through my mind. I thought I was over him. I know I’m crazy. I can’t admit this to anybody but you.
    God, I know I shouldn’t care that James Sr. is getting married, but the closer it gets, the more I do care. It pains me to admit it, but I care. I care so much. But why now, Lord? I guess it was all the time I spent believing that one day I would be his wife.
    Lord, when is it going to be my turn? How long will I have to wait? Some of those ladies in the Singles Ministry scare me. I know that you know what’s best for me, but, God, many of those ladies have been waiting for a long time. You don’t want me to wait that long, do you? Please don’t tell me I have to wait that long.
    I want somebody to share myself with or let me get real. It’s not like you don’t know me. God, I need to be touched. I guess it wouldn’t be so bad if I saw a glimmer of hope; you know if I had a prospect or maybe a date in the last six months. But nothing. All the men I meet don’t know you, so they can’t know me. But, God, it is getting difficult out here. Sometimes I feel like I’m wasting away. Like I’m waiting for my life to begin. I love my son, but he’s already getting so independent. In a little while, he’ll be a teenager and where does that leave me? I want to be somebody’s wife, maybe have another child or two.
    â€œMama.”
    Joan turned to look at her son and closed her journal in the process.
    â€œYes.” Joan tried to sound upbeat.
    â€œIs it time to go yet? Mama, did you forget?” Joan wished she could forget. Today was the day the children in James and Raquel’s wedding were supposed to go to Cyclone to play and have pizza and then attend the rehearsal afterward.
    James Jr. did a little dance. “Come on, Mama, let’s go. Last time I went to Cyclone, I got two thousand tickets.”
    Joan had the overstuffed red teddy bear on her bed to prove it. Her son, who couldn’t remember his homework or when to take out the trash, remembered this statistic.
    Joan went to her bedroom and changed clothes. As much as she hated to admit it, James was getting married to Raquel, and her son was in the wedding. It was time to face the truth.
    In less than twenty-five minutes, the time it was going to take to drive to Cyclone, she was going to be face-to-face with the happy couple.
    As soon as she turned off the ignition in front of their destination, James Jr. blurted out, “Mama, you gotta come see me jump off the dive board into the bubbles.” James Jr. jumped out of