squeezed my boob in the movie theater, but had apparently dumped him over the summer.
I sat with Meghan, eating my ranch-dressing raisin salad, and listened to her talk about Bick.
Blah blah blah.
But when I saw Nora get up and grab her backpack, with Cricket and Katarina still sitting, I bussed my tray.
“Nora. Wait up.” We were in the refectory foyer.
“Hey, Roo.” She smiled. A good sign.
I felt like maybe I was supposed to make small talk. Ask her how the rest of her summer had been, discuss the classes I was taking. But I couldn’t. “Can I show you something?”
“I guess. What?”
“Let’s go outside.”
It was gray out—Seattle is nearly always gray—but warm. We went out to the quad and sat on the grass. I pulled the note from my pocket.
Nora took it and read it in silence. Then she said, “Why are you showing me this?”
I wanted to be friends again.
I wanted to tell her about the Hooter Rescue Squad—for her to laugh and feel grateful.
I wanted her to say, in her Nora way, all the things she thought the note meant, all the things it didn’t mean.
I wanted her to tell me if I should write back. And what I should say.
As if nothing bad had ever happened between her and me.
As if Kim was some random girl Jackson was dating, and not her friend.
I thought all that would be obvious. And I guess I thought she would do it. Just do it automatically, because I was Roo, and she was Nora.
“Kim is going to freak out when she hears,” Nora muttered, not waiting for my answer.
“I didn’t show it to you so you’d tell Kim,” I said, taking the note back.
“Roo–”
“It’s only a ‘Happy birthday.’”
“Then why are you showing it to me?”
“I–”
“Because if Jackson’s stepping out on Kim, or even thinking about it, I’m going to have to tell her. That’s what friends do. We had a pledge.”
“Why would you freak her out for nothing? He’s not getting back with me.”
“He’s not?” Nora eyed me. “Roo, then I don’t understand what this is about. Why are you putting me in the middle?”
“I’m not putting you in the middle.” I felt like I might cry.
“Yes, you are,” she said. “You’re making me choose between lying to Kim and being nice to you. God, sometimes it’s like you have no sense of how other people are going to react to what you do.”
“I thought—” Anything I could say was going to make me sound like a pathetic leper.
“You thought what?”
“I thought we could talk about it,” I said. “Like we used to talk about stuff. I needed someone who would understand.”
“Look, Roo,” said Nora, standing up. “I can’t make you stop liking Jackson. It’s a free country. You can like whoever you like.”
“I don’t like him.”
“Whatever. It seems like you do.”
“Well, I don’t.”
“What I’m saying is, you can do whatever you do and I can’t stop you. But you can’t go stealing other people’s boyfriends and think people are going to like you for it. And you can’t go putting me in the middle, because I’m just not going to be there.”
I thought she was going to turn around and walk away, but she didn’t. She stood still, looking at me like she thought I was going to say something.
Nora tries to be a good person. She believes in God. She does charity work. She would never want a guy she wasn’t supposed to want.
“I can’t tell if we’re friends or not,” I said finally. “You and me.”
“I can’t tell, either,” she almost whispered.
“Are you going to tell Kim about the note?”
“I don’t know.” Nora picked at her fingernails. “I wish you hadn’t put me in this position.”
“Sorry.”
“What is up with you guys?”
“Me and Jackson? I haven’t talked to him. We haven’t even said hi since June.”
“For real?”
“For real.”
“Well,” she said. “Maybe you should just stay away from him.”
“I probably should,” I answered.
“I gotta get to class,”