The Botox Diaries Read Online Free PDF Page B

boxes of Thin Mints herself. When the kids had to make a building for social studies class, Jen concocted hers out of dominoes, toothpicks and a whole lot of Elmer’s glue. Isabella’s model, on the other hand, arrived at school with the label DESIGNED BY I. M. PEI ASSOCIATES clearly visible. Cynthia demurred at the time that “I.M. didn’t do it himself. I just called someone in his office for ideas.”
    Now Cynthia’s obviously on another mission.
    “Jess,” she says, “I’m putting together a little mother-daughter book club. Nothing fancy. Just six or seven of us. We could read some Nancy Drew together.”
    My face must give me away—what self-respecting preteen would be caught dead reading Nancy Drew?—because she adds, “Or everybody can decide on the books together. I’ll just make sure to vet them first.”
    “That sounds like fun. Jen and I just read the new
Harry Potter
together.”
    “No
Harry Potter
,” Cynthia says firmly. “I don’t like that series.”
    “Well that’s okay, too,” I say. Maybe two hundred million people are wrong about Harry. Then trying to draw Lucy into the conversation, I add, “By the way, uh, you know Lucy, right? Lily’s mom.”
    “Oh, yes, of course,” Cynthia says. But she looks at Lucy as if she’s never seen her before in her whole life and gives her the slow, head-to-toe once-over. Cynthia pauses dramatically when her eyes reach the tops of Lucy’s alligator boots. But instead of saying something snide about them, she turns pointedly back to me.
    “So how about it?” asks Cynthia. “We’ll meet Fridays at seven.Discussion will be from seven-fifteen to seven forty-five, and we’ll have snacks afterwards. Nothing too sugary. Just some fruit and crackers. Maybe cheese. Jen doesn’t have a cholesterol problem, does she?” she asks solicitously.
    “Not that I know of,” I say. Another thing to put on the list. Get her hair cut. Buy Pumas for summer camp. Check Jen’s cholesterol.
    “Lily’s a great reader, too,” I say, trying to snag an invite for my best friend and her daughter.
    But politeness isn’t on Cynthia’s to-do list.
    “With you and Jen signed up our little group is filled,” she says efficiently. “Perfect. See you Friday at seven sharp. My house, of course.”
    And with that, she’s gone.
    Lucy looks at me incredulously. “I told you. All these women hate me. Did you see that? It was like I wasn’t there.”
    “Cynthia’s just like that. She has her own agenda. I think I’m going to call her and say Jen and I can’t do it.”
    “No, no, don’t be silly. I don’t care. If anything, I’m out of town so much, it would be Dan who’d have to go with Lily. Might be worth it just to see how Cynthia would handle having testosterone at her mommy-daughter book group.”
    Lucy’s cell phone rings and she looks embarrassed. “It’s okay. Answer it,” I say.
    I hang out for a minute while she says hello, and when she realizes who it is, she turns to me and mouths, “Sorry. I have to take this.”
    Her business call gives me an excuse to make my way to the pastry table in time to snag a croissant. I chat with a few of the other mothers about birthday parties and dancing lessons. One of them asks me if I can chaperone a class trip and another enlists me to work the book fair. I make my escape before someone can sign me up to sew saris for Diversity Day.
    When I wander back to Lucy, she’s still on that business call. Or maybe it’s not strictly business, I suddenly realize. Lucy has her hand cupped around the phone and her face is flushed. A few strands of hair are sticking to her slightly damp forehead. Every few seconds Lucy, the serious professional, lets out a hoot of laughter. I try not to listen.Okay, that’s a lie. I get as close as I can without grabbing the phone from her.
    “I’d love to tell you, but I can’t right now. I’m in a school gym,” I hear her whisper.
    I should probably disappear and give her some