legs in the attic but they would not let me keep the real leg. The real leg they cut off and I guess it went somewhere like to a shelf or an incinerator. Sometimes I wish it had a proper burial.
âProbably has to do with medical waste,â Josh says. âThere must be laws.â
Yesterday was fine. I was straightforward with them. I told them why I wrote the things I wrote. I read with a Native American poet.
Someone asked, âDo you feel the burden of your identities?â I said yeah, I feel it. The Native American said he doesnât think of it as a burden. His first language was Cherokee. He doesnât speak it anymore.
I am writing my acceptance speech for the Best Disabled Writer Award. The speech begins: I need some new words.
Tell us. How is it getting around? Itâs awful. You have to negotiate with so many people on the sidewalks and you can hear their thoughts, like âHurry upâ and âWhy are you walking so slow?â and âMove out of my way.â
Zahra: Youâll get better at passing. Itâs a pain in the ass, I know. Youâll learn, I promise. Just make it out of the woods.
NOTES
âThe Ugly Lawâ: Italicized text comes from an 1881 municipal ordinance, as cited in Susan M. Schweikâs
The Ugly Laws: Disability in Public
(NYU Press). Chicago was the last city to repeal its Ugly Law in 1974.
âHow to Treat Flowersâ quotes Spinozaâs
Ethics
, Part III, Prop. 59, as translated by Edwin Curley (Penguin Classics), and draws on C. S. Lewisâ chapter âTime and Beyond Timeâ from
Mere Christianity
(HarperCollins).
âAffairsâ: This is a substitution poem based on Austin Wrightâs âRecalcitrance in the Short Story,â from the anthology
Short Story Theory at a Crossroads
, edited by Susan Lohafer (LSU Press). âAffairsâ has been substituted for ârecalcitrance.â
âGo On High Shipâ: Geoffrey Grigson named Wallace Stevens âThe Stuffed Goldfinchâ for an eponymous review in
New Verse
.
âElegy for Zahra Bakerâ engages with the case of Zahra Baker whose remains were found scattered across Caldwell County, North Carolina, in 2010.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
Thanks to the editors of these journals where the poems first appeared:
Badlands
: âPoem for His Girlâ;
Cave Wall
: âGo On High Shipâ;
Dossier
: âBe Not Far From Meâ;
Failbetter
: âHow to Treat Flowersâ;
Fairy Tale Review
: âElegy for Zahra Bakerâ;
Forklift, Ohio
: âTiny and Courageous Finchesâ;
LIT
: âGoodbyesâ;
Mayday
: âMarcel Addresses Kateâ;
Michigan Quarterly Review
: âUp Late and Likewiseâ;
The Missouri Review
: âOnce I thought I was going to die in the desert without knowing who I wasâ and âFor Big Logos, in Hopes He Will Write Poems Againâ;
New Ohio Review
: âThe Ugly Lawâ;
Pax Americana
: âAffairsâ and âDecent Recipe for Tilapiaâ;
PEN American Poetry Series
: âPoem for His Exâ;
Pleiades
: âIâve Been Waiting All Nightâ;
Tin House
: âSemi Semi Dashâ;
Wordgathering
: âCafé Loopâ.
Thanks to Peter Conners, Laure-Anne Bosselaar, and Michael Blumenthal, to the ghost of Isabella Gardner, and to the BOA staff. Thanks to the Fulbright Program, the Universidad de Buenos Aires, and Delfina Muschietti for the fellowship and friendship. Thanks to Ana Lopez at the Patagonia Spanish School for making Ushuaia a less lonely place to live. Thanks to Clemson University, the Fine Arts Work Center, and the University of Cincinnati for grants and residencies to support these poems.
Thanks to these writers for their insights on the manuscript: Tom Bissell, Sarah Blackman, Don Bogen, Jim Cummins, John Drury, Tim Earley, Okla Elliott, Michael Griffith, Joanie Mackowski, Kristi Maxwell, Bo McGuire, Catherine Paul, Michelle