The Book of Even More Awesome Read Online Free PDF Page B

well, having succumbed to its viselike grip over me for a few days since the party. I may actually be sick of it, but I would never admit it. All I know is that there are only a couple more minutes left of enjoying its company forever.
    It is a very happy yet very sad time.
    There are some ways that eating the last remaining piece of dessert can be made sweeter, though:
    1. Eating it cold. When that dessert is only a couple feet away from your mouth, there really is no time allowed for heating. (+5 points)
    2. Eating it straight from the big serving dish. This is tricky, because if you’re watching TV you need to awkwardly lift a three-pound glass dish with one hand so you can shovel the dessert into your mouth with the other. Watch out for wobbling. (+10 points)
    3. Methodically scraping every last crumb, ring of dried icing, and molecule of congealed syrup out of the dish, even using a spatula if you have to. Licking is optional here but may be necessary. (+15 points)
    4. The big one. Thinking about the dessert just before you’re about to fall asleep or when you wake up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, thinking about it and not being able to get it out of your head until you walk to the kitchen, your feet freezing on the cold linoleum, touch-grabbing your way through the black maze of your apartment, until you pop open that refrigerator door, its bright light beaming out at you like the gates of heaven opening, and you just grab that Saranwrapped slice of greatness and eat it right on up. (+ 100 points)
    AWESOME!

Slowing down
    Time is an illusion.
    Baby, we’re all just spinning, gninnips, spinning.
    Electrons spinning in our tall, fleshy bodies, spinning on our big, wet rock, spinning in our bright, white solar system, spinning in our deep, dark galaxy , spinning in our brainbustingly big universe.
    This neverending swirly-twirly headtrip can be a bit much sometimes, so we try to place some delicate order on our bumpy, chaotic lives. We tack calendars on our kitchen cabinets with organized checkerboards of days and weeks and months. We make plans for Saturday night, sleep in on Sunday, and head to work Monday morning. See, now instead of swirling and twirling, we’ve got minutes and hours and days and weeks and months and years and lives.
    Oh sure, maybe setting a calendar on the beautiful insanity of life is like placing a square of tissue paper on a hurricane. But without the structure and routine we’d just sort of wander around aimlessly forever, you know what I mean?
    â€œHey man, when you gonna finish college?”
    â€œDude, I dunno, maybe when my beard touches my knees?”
    No, no, no, we need order, we want order, we crave order , we love order.
    Order gives us birthdays, anniversaries, and hair appointments. Order gives us the recess bell, cake-baking smell , and Christmas Eve with the family. Order gives us library readings, holiday greetings, and long weekends in the summer.
    Order gives us a lot.
    But sometimes it’s great to slow down and get swirly-twirly anyway.
    Sometimes it’s great to set up a crinkly tent on the damp edge of a gushing river and camp out under the stars with someone you love. Sometimes it’s great to shutter in and veg out on the stained corduroy couch during a snowy weekend at school. Sometimes it’s great to slap on baggy khaki shorts and a bright shirt and fly to a distant island just to lie on a hot, sandy beach in front of the blue, glittery ocean .
    Sometimes it’s great to step back and stare at the clouds and sky.
    Sometimes it’s great to let your thoughts float free and float high.
    Sometimes it’s great to close your eyes and let it all just slip away.
    Sometimes it’s great to forget the clock and dream a dream today.
    AWESOME!

Taking your high heels off at the end of the night and walking home in bare feet
    Give your tired, aching soles a soothing break after a long day of painful slave labor.
    It