The Bell Tolls for No One Read Online Free PDF

picked her up and carried her into the bedroom. Teddy was sitting there smoking a cigarette. Helen was sobbing, crying.
    â€œBeautiful!” said Teddy. “ Beautiful! ”
    â€œYou beast!” Helen screamed at me.
    â€œGet her!” said Teddy. “Slam it to her!”
    I leaped onto his wife and inserted my penis.
    â€œMake it last,” said Teddy, “no quickies.”
    â€œBut she’s got me hot,” I shouted.
    â€œJust think about eating shit,” said Teddy.
    â€œEating shit?”
    â€œYes,” said Helen, “with the flies still on it.”
    â€œThe flies would fly away if I got the shit close to my mouth,” I said.
    â€œNot these flies,” said Helen. “These flies are different. You swallow them with the shit.”
    â€œO.K.,” I said.
    â€œNo quickies,” said Teddy.
    â€œLittle boy blue,” I said, “come blow your horn, the cow’s in the meadow, the sheep’s in the corn . . . ”
    â€œYou haven’t learned the National Anthem yet?” asked Teddy.
    â€œNo.”
    â€œYou’re not a very good American, are you Bukowski?”
    â€œI guess I’m not.”
    â€œI’ve never failed to vote,” said Teddy. “This is a great country.”
    â€œLittle Jack Horner,” I said, “sat in a corner, eating a pumpkin pie . . . ”
    â€œAnd along came a spider and sat down beside her,” said Helen.
    â€œWait a minute,” said Teddy, “is that the way it goes?”
    â€œI don’t know,” I said. “Mary had a little lamb and its fleece was white as snow and everywhere that Mary went—I’m coming!”
    â€œWhat—?” asked Helen.
    â€œI’m coming!”
    â€œOh, my gawd!” she said.
    We clutched and kissed, moaning. I climbed off. I wiped off on the sheet and Teddy handed me a ten.
    â€œNext time,” he said, “try to last a little longer or it’s only one buck.”
    â€œO.K., Teddy,” I said.
    â€œOh, Teddy!” said Helen from the bed.
    â€œWhat, dear?”
    â€œI love both of you . . . ”
    The third night we were all sitting watching TV. I got up and walked behind Helen. I grabbed her by the hair and pulled her backwards out of her chair. I fell on her and began kissing her legs. Then I heard Teddy get up and he pulled me off of his wife.
    â€œWhat’s wrong?” I asked. “What’s wrong, Teddy?”
    â€œShut up!” he told me.
    He picked Helen up by the hair, then slapped her and knocked her down.
    â€œYou whore!” he screamed. “You dirty rotten whore! You filthy whore! You’ve betrayed me with this man! I’ve seen it with my own eyes!”
    He picked her up, ripped her dress, slapped her. Then he took off his belt and worked her over good.
    â€œBetraying bitch! You rotten bitch! You’re a disgrace to all womanhood!” He took a moment to look at me: “And you, you bastard, you better get out while you can!”
    â€œBut Teddy . . . ”
    â€œI’m warning you, Bukowski.”
    He picked Helen up and carried her into the bedroom. I got my coat and walked out, walked down to the King’s Crow Bar and sat down and had a beer. That Teddy. What the hell kind of friend he turned out to be.

D riving in to Los Alamitos racetrack one night I passed this small farm and saw this large creature standing in the moonlight. There was something very odd about this creature, it drew me to it. It seemed a magnet, a signal. I mean, I braked my car and got out and walked toward the creature. I always got off the freeway early and drove past these little farms. It gave my mind time to relax, getting off the freeway like that and driving down a side road to the track took the pressure off of my mind and made a better gambler out of me. I didn’t say a winning one, I said a better one. I really didn’t have time to stop. I was already late for