The Babysitter Read Online Free PDF Page B

not?”
    “I want you to fill that out. You saved me and my kids' lives. You let me taste heaven even if it was just a few seconds of our entangled lips. How do I come up with an amount for all of that?”
    I turn my head to him. “I don't know what to write down?”
    “Figure out the total you'll need for the next two years and write that down.”
    I cover my mouth. “Blake, that's too much.”
    “You walked away.”
    “What?” I tense.
    “I told you that we couldn't continue what I tried to explore with you the first time I kissed those lips, and you walked away.” He edges back until he's leaning against the sink on the other side of the fridge. “You should've left. Don't get me wrong. I understand more than you know, but watching you leave me next to your room was the hardest thing I had to swallow in years.”
    I bite my lip.
    “Do you know that I almost raced down those stairs, picked you up, and took us away from it all. I just wanted to escape with you away from this crazy predicament I've somehow gotten us in.”
    My heartbeats speed up. “I would've left with you and not looked back.”
    “But then I would've regretted leaving my kids.”
    “And your wife.”
    “No.” He shakes his head. “I don't think so. I'm not sure anymore.”
    “Sure of what?”
    “If I'm making a mistake with watching you walk out of my life, or doing the right thing by staying true to my family.”
    “You're doing the right thing, Blake.” I gulp in my own sadness, place my back to him, and gather up the breakfasts I prepared. “Don't second guess it. You're making the right decision.”
    “How do you know?”
    “Because you're happy, right?” Irritation laces my voice. I can't even glance his way.
    “Doing the right thing doesn't always mean the person will be happy. It just means that someone will be happy.”
    “Then who's happy?” That little hint that tears may begin sparks at my eyes. I hurry with what I'm doing and focus on not crying. I've gotten over many things in my life. I'll get over him. “Who's happy now, Blake?”
    “The kids.”
    I could have countered with all the thoughts that had been crowding my mind. I didn't know if the kids were truly happy with Janet's return or not. Alyssa tossed her mother skeptical looks whenever they saw each other. Sammy maintained his distance from her. I didn't get how Blake defined happiness, but I promised myself to no longer worry about him or his sweet kids.
    There will be a new babysitter soon.
    I set the check on the counter next to him. “Figure out a suitable severance package for a babysitter being released and I'll take that. I won't write some number down to make you feel better with yourself.”
    He grabbed me before I could walk off. “The money would only make me feel good to know that you're out there and safe, as well as not being taken advantage of by another old prick that you babysit for.”
    “You didn't take advantage of me. I desired you the first time I came to interview.” I covered his whole body with my gaze. “I long for you now.”
    “Paige—”
    “Don't. I know what you're going to say, you can't, and frankly I've lost all my energy to try and get you to take a chance on me. If I exert anymore then I'll lose the only bits of me I have left.” I shrug. “Just tell me one thing.”
    “What?”
    “Why did you suck on my finger just now? Why do you taunt me and than turn around and remind me that we can't be more than what we've always been?”
    “Because I couldn't stand next to you another second without putting my tongue somewhere on your body,” he whispers.
    “I wish you would just let go and take me. Just one time, give me what I want. You started this crazy thing and now it’s bubbling inside of me and pleading to get out. If you won't love me like I beg, then at least have the decency to fuck me.”
    He opens his mouth in shock.
    I roll my eyes. “You won't even do that, will you?”
    “Of course not.”
    “I bet