The Artificial Silk Girl Read Online Free PDF

morals, I can’t really do anything about it because he is my father. And I’ve been asking my mother why she as a high-class woman settled for this loser, and instead of slapping me she just said: “You have to belong somewhere after a while.” And she wascompletely calm — but I almost cried, and don’t know why, but I understood and never complained about the old curmudgeon ever again.
    I would just love to see Hubert again. And I can feel that great things are in store for me. But at this point, I’m still sitting here with 80 marks and without a new source of income and I ask you, Where is my man for this emergency? Times are horrible. Nobody has any money and there is an immoral spirit in the air — just as you’re getting ready to hit on someone for some cash, they’re already hitting on you!
    So Therese advised me to check out Johnny Klotz, a fellow we know at the ice cream parlor — that’s because he’s got a car — nothing special, but it’s something. And me: “You don’t know about men nowadays, Therese — what do you mean a man with a car, when it’s not paid off? If you have money nowadays, you go by streetcar and to have 25 pfennigs in cash is worth more than owning a car on credit.” Therese understood, because she accepts my authority when it comes to things like this. So I’m racking my brain as to how I might be able to get back on my feet, because when you rely on men completely, things are bound to go wrong. Unless it’s someone really big — and that’s hard to come by in a crummy town like this. In any case, Johnny Klotz is going to teach me the new tango tonight, so I’ll stay on top of things. I’m so fidgety — sitting around all day with nothing to do. I’m dyingfor it to get dark, and I constantly have that melody in my ears: I love you, my brown madonna — sunshine is glowing in your eyes.… And the violinist at the
Palastdiele
has a voice like sugar — oh my God — and I have to swallow whole that kind of night with music and lights and dancing, until I’ve had my fill — as if I were going to be dead by tomorrow morning and were never ever to get anything again. I want to have a pale pink tulle dress with silver lace and a ruby red rose pinned at my shoulder — I’m going to try to land a job as a model, I’m a gold star — and silver shoes … oh what a tango fairy tale … and what wonderful music there is — when you’re drunk, it’s like going down a slide.
       There has been a significant development in my life, as I am now an artist. It all started out with my mother talking to Frau Buschmann who runs the cloakroom for the actresses, and she in turn spoke with Frau Baumann, who plays old and funny ladies — those crazy old women who still want to, but no one wants them any more, and people find that funny, but there’s really nothing funny about it. And she spoke to someone by the name of Klinkfeld who directs plays and is called director. And Klinkfeld spoke to someone who is one notch below him and directs plays under him. His name is Bloch and he is a stage manager and has a tummy like a throw pillow — I’m not sure if it’s embroidered or not — and he always pretends to be incrediblyexcited as if the theater belonged to him and is running around with a book in his hand saying vulgar things, and you never know if it’s in the book or if these are his own words. And Bloch spoke with the box opener who stands in front of the director’s box that provides direct access from the auditorium to the stage — which is prohibited and the box opener stands there with an impressive posture to make sure nobody steals the props. And he spoke with my mother and now I’m an extra. And I have to run across the stage in a play called
Wallenstein’s Camp
holding a jug together with other girls — it’s quite a scene — but it’s just a rehearsal for the time being, and the performance isn’t until the 12th. Until then it’s supposed to