The Arrangement 18 Read Online Free PDF

lips together, I say, “Well, just so you know, you are nothing to shrug at. And I understand why you kept him hidden. We both needed two things to survive, things that were unbecoming.”
    Sean doesn’t know how to respond—there’s a look of relief on his face and a half smile. It molds his lips into an adorable expression. I want to jump up and kiss him. It’s scary, but I think I’m finally getting to see the side of Sean that I know is there, revealed to me full force. Sean’s finally stopped hiding who he is, at least in front of me. The monsters have been left in the shadows and I finally have him, all of him.
    I don’t know if I should hold back or give in. This chance may not come again, and I don’t want to regret holding back. At the same time my heart’s so brittle, so marred, that I’m afraid to open it up entirely again. I could manage fucking, I was so sure that I made a freaking contract. I didn’t think to exclude this part. I didn’t think Sean would try to make love to me and now that he has, I don’t know what to do.
    Some people say be careful what you wish for. I used to think that was because wishes don’t come true. That’s not what I’m seeing in front of me now. This version of Sean’s raw and real, ready to give me everything I’ve always wanted. The question is, am I? Or will I be a frightened little girl and run away?
    I told him to stop beating around the bush. Well, that has a whole other meaning that I never thought of. Damn. Maybe it’s time for me to be brave, to step out of the shadows myself. This is my chance to get what I've always wanted, even if it’s only once.
    Besides, he’s already broken me so many times I don’t see how I could be worse off than before. He sees my eyes and, in that moment, I swear to God he knows what I'm thinking.
    “Avery, this is for you. I dropped my walls for you and only you. And you can say no. I’m not pressuring you into this. I know you’ve been hurt by me, by life. I wouldn’t blame you.” His voice trails off at the end of the sentence, like he would be in agony if I said no.
    The truth falls from my lips before I can stop it, “I’m afraid.”
    “So am I.” Sean watches me from across the room as he refills the tub preparing it with oils and lighting candles that float on the surface of the water. For a moment neither of us breathe, we just stare at each other silently. He offers an uncertain smile before he turns back to the water, adjusting the temperature, picking up twigs that fell from my hair.
    When he finishes, he walks over to the shower where I’m sitting. There are over six shower heads and a control panel that I have no clue how to use. He presses three or four buttons and all of a sudden there’s wonderful warm steam and a trickle of hot water from overhead.
    Sean extends his hand. “You can rinse off before you bathe. There’s soap and shampoo to get the wilderness off of you. We can check your cuts when you come out. Oh, and there’s a pink bottle, on the far right, that’s for you.”
    That last statement caught my attention. What on in the world could he have gotten me? I drop the fuzzy warm towel and head into the steam, inhaling deeply as I go.
    Oh. My. God. It feels so good. It’s a shower that feels as though it’s raining inside. The water falls gently, pouring over my body. I look around for the pink bottle and see it right away. It’s made of crystal and has a jeweled topper. I remove the lid and bring my head to the opening of the bottle, inhaling deeply. It smells incredible. I can’t decide what it’s made from. The scents are familiar, but I can’t place them.
    I pour some of it into my hand, unsure as to whether it’s perfume or soap. When I put the bottle down and start rubbing, it’s clear from the lather that it’s soap. I rub it on my arms and my stomach and my legs, removing the remains of running through the woods, and tripping over fences. My muscles go slack in the heat