The Adulterer's Unofficial Guide to Family Vacations, A Novel Read Online Free PDF

date for handling such situations was pathetic.
    “I cry, scream, threaten, feel bad . . . not the most mature way of handling things.” I checked his response before continuing.After all, I wanted to cut through the bullshit, so I might as well be honest, “If you have a solution, please share it with me because I’ve run out of ideas . . . especially with this trip.”
    “Oh hell,” he smiled as he replied, “I was hoping you had some magic wand that would make them see how they are really acting!Damn.There goes all hope.”
    I couldn’t help but laugh.Someone else had the same problem I did and didn’t have a better solution.That was something, at least.
    “You know what, Alan?I feel better already.”
    “You know what, Laura?Me too.”Laughter again.This might work out okay.At least we wouldn’t be too uncomfortable.We had the past in common, along with certain family members.And we had this circumstance in common.This might even be fun.
    “Have you heard from Mike?” He sort of winced as he asked, in case the question was too delicate.
    I shook my head, “Did you hear from Susan since last night?”
    “No.And I have a wicked idea.”Damn that dazzling smile.You aren’t twenty anymore, I reminded myself.You have the force field of maturity to protect you from his boyish charms.
    “What is it?”
    “Well, first of all,” he began, “we don’t call them.”I nodded in agreement, it sounded good so far.“Secondly, we tell them everything is just fine and we are having a great time.”
    “You mean we won’t tell them that we’ve met, or that we are hanging out together?”It seemed a little deceptive, and I liked it immediately.
    “No, we tell them nothing.We just take a lot of photos of all six of us together, smiling, etc.We get them developed before we go back.Then just hand them the pictures.”He grinned triumphantly.It seemed petty and a little mean.And I was all for it.
    “Deal!”I liked this idea.There was some kind of poetic justice in it.
    Alan extended his hand and I shook it decisively.This might be a good trip after all.
     

 
    Chapter 4
     
    We headed back to the park late in the afternoon.The atmosphere had cleared somewhat.Once again, Alan and I had little time to talk from chasing the kids everywhere, but we managed to exchange a few sly smiles and winks.Dinner consisted of hot dogs and fries (What?It’s protein and a vegetable) as we angled for the best spot to watch the parade and light show.
    Things seemed to have changed since the development our evil plan.Instead of strangers, it felt more like co-conspirators and the idea thrilled me.The edge had softened a bit, and we enjoyed the kids.I even felt the bliss working its magic, catching myself choking up when all the characters rode by on their floats.Yes, things were definitely looking up.
    The girls, who mere moments before had been squealing with delight at the fireworks, collapsed on our laps on the bus back to the resort.(Can I insert here that once again, I did not want to leave?But the staff can be very persuasive and I wanted to come back tomorrow.)
    I cast Alan a wary glance when I noticed that the boys were starting to close their eyes.We prodded them gently through the twenty minute trip, both of us doubting we could each carry two, forty pound children all the way back to the room.Unfortunately, that was the situation.
    Staggering through the hotel lobby to the pool area, we realized our strength would soon quit.I walked over to a poolside chaise lounge and deposited Jenny and Alice.They responded by curling up against one another.
    “Good idea,” Alan whispered and laid out the boys on the next chair.“The bar is open.Would you like a drink?”I nodded as I straightened out four sets of arms and legs in a vain attempt to make them more comfortable.I stretched out in the third lounge chair, watching them sleep, awaiting my drink.
    Actually, I was kind of giddy.For one thing, I hadn’t seen Bob the buffalo all