The Actor and the Housewife Read Online Free PDF Page B

killed your story. But try me anyway.”
    She tossed the purple tent/shirt into the hamper. She did feel a touch disheartened because, in fact, Carol Burnett would have been awesome. Still, the actual person was no one to sneeze at, so she straightened up proudly when she was able to report, “Felix Callahan.”
    “Who?”
    And, she slouched. “Come on, Mike! He’s an actor and completely famous. He was in that weird drama you liked, the one with the baseball and the live bats.”
    “ Furry . Which one was he?”
    “The British one. The good-looking one.”
    Mike stared blankly.
    She sighed and mumbled, “The one who eats the gopher.”
    “Oh, okay. He’s in that what-cha-call-it movie you and Jessie watch every year when Mark and I are on the elk hunt.”
    “Yeah . . .” She was embarrassed he knew that.
    “So you met him, huh?”
    “Get this: I didn’t just meet him. We had dinner together. Steak. At least, I had the steak. It was good. And some ice cream. Ooh, do we have any ice cream left in the freezer or did you guys eat it all while I was gone?”
    Mike had lowered the magazine. “Wait, wait . . . you had dinner? As in, on a date?”
    “What? Oh, no, not a date . A . . . a . . . I don’t know, just dinner.”
    “Just dinner.”
    “Yeah, in the hotel. We were in the same hotel. And then we did dance, but just because it was funny.”
    He stared at her. “You had dinner, just the two of you? And you danced? It’s been a while since I was on the scene , but as far as I know, that would be considered a date.”
    “Can you blame me for not . . . I mean, sheesh, look at me.” She stuck out her belly. “I’m nearly my own continent. And he’s a famous actor. It was hardly a recipe for seduction.”
    Mike smiled into the corner of his mouth. “You charmed him, didn’t you?”
    She clicked her tongue. “You are the only person in the world who would assume I could charm some actor, and in my third trimester, no less. It’s very sweet of you, but, no.”
    “You did. You charmed him. You know you can be very charming when you set your mind to it.”
    She threw a pillow at his head. He snatched it out of midair like a ninja catching a thrown knife. He could be quite agile. When he set his mind to it.
    “I’ll bet he’s never met anyone like you. He’s probably twitterpated and doesn’t know what to make of it.”
    Becky snorted. “Not likely.”
    “That’s my wife, so pregnant she’s about to pop and still getting men to buy her steak dinners.”
    “Oh please, as if I’m some femme fatale. Besides, I paid for my own dinner.”
    “But he offered, didn’t he?”
    She didn’t answer. He smiled at her, and the sweetness of this man and his smile made her feel all warm and gooey, as if her heart were hot brownies. Until the smile turned sneaky.
    “No,” she said, trying to flee, “no, no, no!”
    But he weighed well over two hundred pounds, most of that muscle, and she was slowed down with child. She never had a chance. She shrieked as he grabbed her and tickled her sides, going on about her powers as a temptress. The temptress part at least proved to be true. Becky started to kiss him just to distract him from tickling her, which worked almost immediately, as his fingers left her ribs and found the small of her back and her neck, and then he was kissing her neck, which so wasn’t fair, and down into the hollow of her throat. The brush of his lips there nearly made her sigh, but she held it in, determined not to let him know how easily he could make her knees weak. All the same, it was fun to discover that she was in the mood after all. She melted into his hold and seduced him into bed with the lights still on.
    The next day Becky told him the story properly, playing up the extended awkwardness and coincidental meetings. Mike thought it was a riot and absolutely not for one moment took it seriously. And neither did Becky. Now that she was home again and back in her routine, that brief