That'll Be the Day (2007) Read Online Free PDF Page B

fault. I would sit at the parlour window for hours on end, afraid to move in case he suddenly appeared and I missed the moment.’
      Lynda remembered her mother explaining that it was because of the war, that he was away fighting the enemy. When hostilities finally ended she’d excitedly expected things to return to normal, to be as they once were when she’d been seven and the war just beginning. Every night she’d include him in her prayers and try desperately to be a good girl, like when she wanted Father Christmas to bring her presents. But nothing she did made the slightest difference.
    Some of her friends’ fathers hadn’t come home from the war either and finally Lynda had plucked up the courage to ask ‘Is Dad dead?’ dreading her mother’s answer.
    ‘No, love, he came back from the war fit and well. The truth is, he doesn’t care about us any more. I expect he’s got himself a new wife and children by now.’
    That was a day Lynda would ever remember: the day her innocence and her faith in fathers, in men generally, was destroyed for ever. The world became a less safe, less secure place after that.
    ‘Is it my fault, Mummy? Was I too naughty? Did I do something wrong to make him go away?’ she’d sobbed, but her mother had hugged her tight and denied any such thing.
    ‘Course not, love. It’s not your fault at all, it’s his.’
    Lynda knew it had been hard for her mother with little money coming in and two young children to support. Divorce was disapproved of then, seen almost as a sin, although there was plenty of it going on following hasty war marriages.
    She remembered being a rather solitary child with a tendency to depression yet perversely fond of showing off, probably in a desire to be noticed. It wasn’t that Betty didn’t love her but having to carry out the roles of both parents, being bread winner as well as nurturer, she was often too tired to play games with her children and have fun.  
    Lynda had partly resented this and yet was deeply protective of her mother, always feeling she should understand why this dreadful thing had happened to them, but never quite managing to do so.
    With Jake being six years younger and missing his father badly, he had suffered even more. There had been the bed wetting, the insomnia and his temper tantrums for Mam to deal with on top of working full time on the market. No wonder she was always exhausted.
    Yet they had survived, and Lynda really didn’t know why these old issues were dwelling so much on her mind today. Perhaps it was seeing Judy’s valiant attempts to cover up her own unhappiness.
    ‘Mam’s mistake was that she refused to talk about Dad, wouldn’t even let us see him. If she had, then I’m sure it would have been much less painful for us both. If Tom and Ruth still had regular contact with their father, they’d be perfectly happy, even if you did split up.’
    ‘I never said anything about us splitting up,’ Judy said, a slight edge to her tone.
    ‘No, course you didn’t. Sorry!’
    There was a silence, one that stretched out between the two old friends for several long seconds until Lynda gave an expressive little shrug. ‘I just care about you, Jude, that’s all.’
    The frozen look thawed a little. ‘I know you do, but I’m all right, really I am. Marriage isn’t all frosted icing and moonlight dinners, you have to work at it. Like life, most of it is fairly dull and boring.’
    ‘But . . .’
    Judy raised one forbidding eyebrow. ‘Have another sandwich. I’ll listen to no more lectures or advice, however warmly offered. What will you wear tonight? Where is Terry taking you?’ And the two young women retreated into a far safer discussion about the dance, the band, what Lynda would wear and whether she was too old to adopt the current fashion for hooped petticoats.

 
    Chapter Five
    Have dinner ready. Plan ahead to prepare a delicious meal for his return from work and see that there are fresh flowers on the table.