Terrorscape Read Online Free PDF

didn't
need
to
do
this
often;
it
was
a
self-sustaining
conversation, and Angel, Cherry, Flo, and Mary made
only perfunctory efforts to include her in their banter.
    Cherry had ordered for everyone since nobody
could agree on any one dish. Val had miso soup as a
starter, with floating seaweed and squares of tofu,
and unagi rolls fried in tempura and drizzled with
spicy cream sauce and bright orange masago . Her
stomach squirmed a little when she found out unagi meant “eel,” but since all she could taste were the
sauces it had been cooked in, she was able to convince
herself that she was eating really rubbery chicken.
    Then the party platter came and Mary and her
sisters took turns daring each other to try the scarier
looking rolls, including one called the “spider roll,”
with tempura-fried shrimp tails sticking out of the
center like breaded tentacles.
    Val was given one of each, which she managed to
choke down. This time, she abstained from asking
what was in them, and was all the more blissful in
ignorance. All five of them had green-tea mochi ice
cream for dessert.
    It was hard to feel anything but full after such a
hearty meal. Val found her mood had lifted. She even
managed to make a few jokes, and when Cherry
reached over to muss her hair she felt as if she had
won an award.
“Thank you for inviting me out.”
    “No problem.” Cherry undid the button of her
jeans and sighed. “We're just glad our little sis isn't
rooming with a psycho.”
    “ Cherry .”
“What? She's not. I'm just saying.”
Was I ever like that? Did I ever have that attitude?
That sass?
    No. She had always restrained herself. Val felt a
pang of loss for what had never been—and now,
thanks to him, never would be.
Only half-listening to the conversation, Val pulled
her wallet out of her dress pocket.
     
“Don't you dare.”
    She looked up, startled to see Angel glaring at her
as if she were in violation of some gross faux pas .
“What—”
“Put the wallet down, and nobody gets hurt.”
“Same goes for you, too, Mare-Bear,” Flo said to
Mary, who was in the process of reaching into her
bag.
    “I can't—” Val tried to calculate the monetary
value of what she had eaten. Surely it had amounted
to thirty dollars a head, if not more.
“I have money,” Mary protested at the same time.
“Uh-uh. Mom told us to make sure you save all
your money for college stuff.”
     
Mary's eyes glistened. “Memaw said that?”
“She said college girls need skin on their bones,
so they don't have food on the brain.”
     
“Shopping's on her, too, so get whatever you
need.”
    Val averted her eyes as they embraced. That
feeling of intruding had intensified. She felt like she
had just walked in on a private, intimate moment.
    She couldn't remember the last time she had been
able to bestow affection—at least, the physical kind—
so freely. Even now, after years of therapy and
counseling, she could barely stand to be touched. Not
even by her parents. She hated the hurt in their eyes
when she flinched away from them, even though she
knew they both understood.
I wish Mom and Dad were here .
    They had her phone number, and she had theirs,
but Val had made up her mind that she wasn't going
to call them unless it was an emergency. Just in case.
Just in case he's out there, looking .
    Chronic loneliness didn't count as an emergency,
she didn't think, and what didn't kill you was
supposed to make you stronger, or so they said.
But it hasn't. It's made me weaker, so much weaker .
    He had made her weaker—and for what? To
better suit her to his fantasies for power and absolute
control?
    Goddamn you, you bastard, for ruining my life .
“Val looks left out.”
“You guys ready to go shopping?”
The bill had been paid, receipts slipped discreetly
into pleather purses. The tip was lying smugly in the
black lacquered dish.
     
Val shook herself and answered, “Yes.”
     
▪▫▪▫▪▫▪
     
She had been ordinary, once.
    Just another high school