Tarnished Beauty Read Online Free PDF Page B

time. At that moment, it felt like her intestines had tied themselves to the bedpost to keep her from lifting off the mattress and bursting out through the roof of the house. She’d also felt it gather fiercely within her when she’d finally accepted that she’d never go to school, and that the most she could hope to receive from the villagers was stiff regard, born of pity in the best of circumstances and restrained loathing in the worst. She’d learned, having had more than ample opportunity to study the phenomena, that people didn’t merely enjoy their fear, they savored it as steady and reliable entertainment. When she went to the market, or ventured down the street on an errand, she reminded them that they were lucky no matter what their circumstances were, for at the end of the day, when they washed in the river or the well, whether they had the benefit of soap or just friction and water, they’d be clean from head to toe, front and back.
    â€œHer mother is dying and she doesn’t shed a tear,” the villagers said. “Her face is perfect, like a statue. Not a tear.”
    â€œDoes that surprise you?” they whispered. “She has the heart of the devil, and the devil is not saddened by death.”
    â€œThere is rumor that she will leave for the north after her mother dies.”
    â€œI’ve been praying for years that she would. Ever since she was born, my fields have yielded much less, and hers seem to flourish. She’s cursed us all.”
    â€œYes, she has. My baby died three weeks after Jamilet was born, and I have no doubt that Jamilet should have died instead.”
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    As her mother’s illness progressed, Jamilet’s stories evolved beyond the imaginings that had served her as a child and into deeper longings that had the power to soothe her soul. She passed the hours away with eyes semiclosed and fluttering as her mother slept. Gabriela instructed Jamilet to pray whenever she felt that her heart would wither with pain, but her fantasies, as impossible as she knew them to be, eased her pain better than anything else.
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    â€œWake up, Mama. It’s time for breakfast and you’ve been sleeping too long. Do you expect me to do all the work around here?”
    Lorena’s eyes open and she smiles. “How long have I been sleeping?”
    â€œToo long,” Jamilet says, pulling the covers off. “Come and see what I’ve made for you.” Lorena gets out of bed and wraps a shawl around her shoulders as she’s led into the kitchen. The table is set with a breakfast of tortillas, chorizo, and eggs, with fresh chili sauce and two steaming cups of hot chocolate.
    They watch each other from across the table as they eat, incredulous with joy.
    â€œYou seem so happy, Jamilet. I’ve never seen my little girl so happy.”
    â€œI have a surprise for you, Mama.”
    Lorena claps her hands like a child. “Another surprise? What is it?”
    â€œWe’re going north, Mama. We’re leaving today. We’re going to make a new life in the place where the shiny buildings touch the sky. I talked with Mr. and Mrs. Miller and they already have jobs for us there. And there’s an extra room in their mansion that they don’t use. They say we can have it until we find our own house, and we can take all the time we need to find just the right one.”
    â€œWhat about your grandmother? She’s too old to live alone.”
    â€œShe doesn’t want to go, Mama. I’ve already asked her and she’s very sure she would be miserable there and very happy here with the chili patch and chickens to look after. The doctor told me today that she’s as strong as a horse, and that having a little extra room would do her good.”
    Lorena accepts this without question. “Well then, I suppose we have some packing to do.”
    â€œI packed while you were sleeping, Mama. All we have to do now is