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I used to be a big deal back in Brooklyn, before CPA. People actually followed me around the hallways and asked for my autograph at school events. Everybody thought I was going to be a huge star, and so did I. Then I got to CPA and nobody would turn around when I came down a hallway. I wasn’t special, I was normal. It was really hard to take at first. It’s not fun to be called a has-been, but you’ve shined brighter than most people could ever dream of. And honestly, I think that only the best is yet to come. For both of us. You’ve handled it all so well. You’re still a working actor, you’re one of the nicest guys I’ve ever known, and um, a really good kisser.
    She smiled and gave me a soft kiss on the cheek.
SOPHIE: At the end of the day, I don’t think I’ve ever met anybody as special and deserving of their dreams as you.
    I look at Sophie now. With each passing semester, her confidence gets stripped away. I do my best to comfort her; we both know what it’s like to not be the big star you once were. But lately, she’s become too desperate for the limelight. She’s not the person I fell for, the one who would light up a room simply by entering it. Instead, she walks into a room and takes stock of the competition. Now everything seems like a big battle to her.
    I want the old Sophie back.
ME: I have no doubt in my mind that you are going to land a spot.
    I wrap my arms around her to try to give her some comfort. She holds on to me tight.
SOPHIE: It’s our last year. I’ve got to start making an impression or … Plus, it isn’t even about making the list, it’s the order , too.
    I don’t know what to say. I couldn’t care less about the order. But I know, to her, it’s everything.
    She sighs, grabs my hand, and leads me inside the building.
SOPHIE: This is really the first test to see who the lead contenders for the Senior Showcase are. There are ten spots. The first spot is a big deal because that sets the tone. But then spots two through eight are fine. The second to the last is pretty major, but the last spot — that’s the cream of the crop.
    I nod like I have any clue what she’s talking about. I know she’s nervous about the lineup and I want to be there for her, but senior year has made me realize that I have my own issues, too. I thought going to high school would give me some sort of sense of who I really am. But it’s just another part I’m playing. And now I’m playing the role of Understanding Boyfriend.
    Still, having a girlfriend at school is one of the things that makes me feel normal. Plus, she’s superhot.
    It’s not that I don’t want to play the boyfriend role, but I guess there’s no denying there’s been some tension between us lately. She’s become so obsessed with being the biggest star at CPA, it’s getting in the way of our relationship. When she’s not worried about an audition, she’s a ton of fun, and she likes to be out and be seen (something Mom wants me to do for my career — be in papers, online, TV, you name it. Got to stay relevant, I guess). Although sometimes I get the feeling that it’s an act to her, too.
SOPHIE: Did you hear that Zach did a monologue from Richard III ?
    I groan. I know Sophie, and everybody else for that matter, probably thinks my attitude is because Zachary David is the other lead student in the drama department and we are always competing for roles, but he’s the one who considers me competition, not vice versa. My disgust is over my real nemesis: Shakespeare. That guy kills me. I get why he’s a big deal, I really do. But it’s hard to memorize pages and pages of something that makes zero sense. And did people ever really talk like that?
    But of course Zach auditioned with Shakespeare. He’s by far the better actor, one of the best I’ve ever seen. I’m aware that I’m not even in the top half of the class, but I always seem to get the lead. Which pisses everybody off. And it should. I know why I get the lead parts