Switched, Bothered and Bewildered Read Online Free PDF

her experience, if you took something apart and put it back together, you usually figured out what was wrong with it.
    It was seven in the morning, and she had hours before the munchkins arrived after school. Hours. She'd hoped to sleep in, but the sound of some freakin' happy morning birds had disrupted her enough to make it impossible. She'd just wanted to fry those damn birds for breakfast. Them and their seagull friends.
    Now, where was the manual for this thing? Jillian dug in the upper cupboard in the laundry room looking for the book to the Kenmore washer. Hot glue gun, a box of old sunglasses, random batteries, a rubber-stamping kit: oh no, it would be too logical for Jana Lee to keep the books right next to the units. Jillian stepped back and wiped her dusty hands on the front of the old apron she'd
    found hanging on a hook in the laundry room. It looked like one of Mom's. It probably was.
    It was a good thing she'd grown up in this house and knew every inch of it. That would make her useless hunts for everything slightly easier.
    Jillian stepped in the kitchen and washed her hands, then poured herself a cup of coffee. Where the sugar and creamer were, she had no idea. Wait, the copper and tin canisters were still on the counter, just like when they were kids, and lo and behold . . . Jillian popped the lid off the old sugar can. Sugar. She'd have to use real milk, if there was any in the house. After the washer incident there was no doubt she'd have to go grocery shopping. Oy-Arse Domesticus.
    She pulled the old fridge open and located a carton of milk, opened the spout, sniffed, and about gagged. Instead of subjecting herself further, she put it back in the fridge. She'd purge later.
    The sound of pounding footsteps down the stairs was followed by the blur of a teenage body with some sort of hip-hugger pants, a streak of belly flesh showing, and a tank top. The blur paused long enough to grab the five bucks Jillian had been instructed to place on the counter.
    "Bye."
    That was it. Carly's repeat performance; one showing at ten o'clock last night, one showing at seven in the morning. Last night it was "hi" fol-
    lowed by a streak up the stairs to her room, and the slammed door, then the bumping beat of alternative rock and roll. Jana Lee had bet Jillian a box of chocolate-covered cherries it would take Carly at least a week to even notice her Aunt Jillian was standing in for her mother. Jillian was beginning to think she was going to lose that bet. At least she'd win the one where Oliver would spot Jana Lee in thirty seconds or less.
    Not only was her niece a piece of work but this 1969 tract house was a piece of junk. It didn't even have that kitschy charm sixties houses sometimes get. Dropped plastic ceiling panels with fluorescent lights, mustard shag carpet, bad aluminum windows, and ugly, ugly brown vinyl fake brick on the kitchen floor. No wonder Jana Lee was depressed. It was a split-level nightmare.
    Jillian leaned against the old white sparkle-vinyl countertop and slurped her sugary black coffee. And she was supposed to be unwinding. She sighed.
    Speaking of depressed, Monty Python, the oldest golden retriever on the planet, was staring at her from his downtrodden position on the sofa in the family room. His big doggy eyes knew the truth.
    "Monty, you know it's me, just get over yourself. She'll be back in a week," she told the dog.
    Monty's floppy left ear made a tiny movement. She knew he'd heard her. He'd been in that exact
    position since last night. The sofa was obviously dog domain, and that was that. He wasn't moving.
    "Just don't pee on it. You know where the dog door is."
    Monty rolled an eyeball at her.
    Now, to the washer. She slammed through every cupboard in the kitchen and came up empty on the manual. Well, there was always the internet. She hadn't seen any computer hooked up on the main floor, or in Jana Lee's upstairs room, so if one existed, it was most likely in Carly's room.
    Jillian took