Suzy Zeus Gets Organized Read Online Free PDF

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    Living, through imagination,
    what she's not supposed to want.
    Feeling flattened, like a flounder.
    Like those fans at Altamont.
    William says it's called committed—
    just like married, but for gays.
    William says he's been acquitted,
    says that Suze was just a phase.
    Surely he's not that dimwitted . . .
    Can't he feel her blood ablaze?
    Suzy Zeus is his all over.
    Suzy Zeus is his, all right.
    Melting, boiling, steaming, Suzy's
    glowing with a liquid light.
    Suzy Zeus is his forever—
    well, forever here tonight.
    William's broken, like a record.
    William's broken like a horse.
    William's broken like a vacuum.
    Get this man a gay divorce.
    William sputters dots and dashes—
    much like Samuel F. B. Morse.
    Suzy's sure he's hiding something.
    Suzy's sure—but God knows why.
    Suzy, in the church hall kitchen,
    hears him heave a heavy sigh.
    William isn't going to kiss her.
    Isn't even going to try.
    SUZY CONSIDERS HER ROLE
     
    Suzy's chest is cracked and hollow.
    Suzy's muscles ache and strain.
    Suzy's insides lie around her
    on an open, windswept plain.
    Suzy is an empty pelvis
    and a burnt, exploded brain.
    Suzy cannot walk on water.
    Can't turn water into wine.
    Can't make fishes into bread loaves.
    Jesus can. In God's design,
    God's the center. Is the church the
    bride of Christ, or Frankenstein?
    Suzy's always been important—
    never some old also-ran.
    Suzy's kept the whole world going,
    since before the world began.
    Where would Louie's be without her?
    Who would take her shift?
    Joanne.
    SUZY CONSIDERS HERSELF LUCKY
     
    Suzy Zeus saw Harry Sunday,
    on the subway, in a suit.
    Working on the Internet with
    students, making loads of loot
    teaching them communications.
    (That, she thinks, does not compute.)
    Harry had a better haircut.
    Harry had a bigger place.
    Suzy Zeus had vanished from his
    daily life without a trace.
    Suzy's going to write a novel:
    Stupidheads in Cyberspace.
    Harry'd learned a foreign language.
    Harry'd found a lovely bride.
    Harry'd opened up a business.
    Harry'd traveled far and wide.
    Harry'd seen her back at Louie's.
    Harry'd seen her classified.
    Harry cannot live without her.
    Needs her there, a constant prop.
    Look how hard he tried to hide that
    minus Suzy, he's a flop.
    Suzy sauntered from the train as
    if she hadn't missed her stop.
    SUZY CONSIDERS SUICIDE
     
    Someone's standing in the bathroom,
    staring into Suzy's eyes.
    Someone with the look of voices
    Suzy doesn't recognize.
    Someone living in the mirror.
    Some fat face that cries and cries.
    Suzy's skull is packed and pounding.
    Suzy's teeth are shaking loose.
    Suzy's hands are slow and tremble,
    covering the glass with mousse.
    Suzy studied knots one summer.
    Suzy doesn't know a noose.
    Suzy feels a veil get lifted.
    Suzy hears a veil get torn.
    Then the truth lies, pinned, before her,
    stark and struggling, woken, worn.
    Hunger pangs are all that's certain,
    all we're given when we're born.
    SUZY TAKES A WALK
     
    Suzy's crouching on the sidewalk.
    Suzy's crawling in the street.
    Suzy's weaving through the blackness,
    catching headlights with her feet.
    Suzy's tears are warm and tasteless.
    Suzy's blood is hot and sweet.

CHAPTER 8
Suzy Committed
     

SUZY COMES TO
     
    Rolling on a padded stretcher.
    Someone says the taxi veered.
    So, has she been hearing voices?
    No, she thinks, just thinking weird.
    Suzy's doctor wears a sweater,
    brogues, a bookcase, and a beard.
    SUZY CONFUSED
     
    Suzy's roommates stare and mumble
    on their creepy plastic cots.
    Suzy's locked on Ten West A, a
    safety zone ("no sharps, no hots").
    Pencils at the nursing station,
    no real vases, flowerpots.
    Trying pills in sunset colors.
    Some look like a smiley face.
    Suzy's doctor shows her pictures
    (modern artwork: messy ink).
    Asks her first to count by sevens.
    Panthers, bison, bats, a moth.
    Suzy's thoughts are slow and sluggish,
    Suzy's brain waves long and tall.
    Asks her what the pictures look like.
    Backward, down from