Surge : A Stepbrother Romance Read Online Free PDF Page B

am a pro surfer—that’s what I do. I put on a publicity
stunt to gain popularity, yes. That’s a part of my job. But more than anything,
I wanted to impress you. The way I saw you teach out there—it was amazing. I
may be a great surfer, but that’s about all I am. You have a real connection to
those people. You are a great teacher. I lost that bet before it began. You win,
Sam. You win. I will endorse your school.”
     
     
    A
wave of pride washes over me. Though I wrestle with the thought that Mick could
be lying, but when he spoke, I looked in his eyes—as far as I could tell, he
was sincere. Still, I feel I have to fight off my feelings. All guys are the
same. I repeat to myself.
     
    “Mick,
you can’t just solve this with a kind word and an excuse. You fucked up. Your
whole life has been a publicity stunt. You are a child that is starved for
attention. You don’t have to make everything into a PR campaign just to stroke
your ego. Don’t you know there is more to life than that?” I can feel tears
starting to well in my eyes.
     
    “Sam,
you…”
     
    I
can tell he feels bad by the expression on his face, but my feelings of guilt
are quickly trumped by my anger. “I need you to leave, Mick. Now!”
     
     
    I
look back at him. There is such a depth of sadness on his face, it is almost
too much for me to bear. I’m not sure what I feel anymore. This is all so
confusing.
     
    Mick
steps in close to me—he is at least a half a head taller than I am. The water
from his body drips onto mine. I refuse to look up. I want to flee, and yet my
body won’t let me leave.

        I feel his breath on me and see his chest heaving up and down; my
breathing becomes heavy. When he is this close to me, I feel a deep sense of
passion and unbridled excitement. Mick takes me by my arms.

    “Listen,
Sam. I understand the complications and baggage that must come from this. I
really do. But I can’t risk another day apart from you. If… if you don’t feel what
there is between us right now, then tell me, and I will leave. I know you feel
it though, Sam. You must.” I look up at his trembling lips.

    As
I lift my head further, I see Mick’s face. A water droplet runs down the right
side of his cheek and falls onto his lips. He moves in closer to meet my kiss,
and as our lips touch, something within me shakes as if in warning. I can’t
do this… not with him. I break away from the captivating kiss, and Mick
steps back in shock.

    “Mick,
you have to leave. I can’t do this—not right now. Please,” I whisper the last
words, or they come out in a whisper. A whisper of sadness and regret.
     
    Mick
looks at me with understanding. Part of me feels somewhat gratified. I
wasn’t going to let a guy come into my life, not like this. Look what happened
with John—do you want that again, Sam?  As I watch Mick turn and walk away farther
in the distance, I suddenly realize Mick is not John. I don’t think he ever
could be. As the sadness crests overtop of me, I think I may have made the
biggest mistake of my life.
     
     
    ***
     
            I
fell asleep last night accompanied by terrible feelings of guilt. I deeply
regret the way I treated Mick. It feels like I was just trying to prove a point
now. Truthfully, his stunt would spark enrollment rates in my school, and the
association of his name with my program would bring a lot of notoriety my way.
I understand that Mick helped me, in a way, in spite of his selfish pursuit.
     
    I
had many dreams last night, but the one I remember was all about Mick. In the
dream, I met Mick to apologize for my abrupt reaction, only to have him laugh
in my face. When I look behind me, I realized we were next to the grandstand
from the US Open, and everyone was pointing at me in disgust while laughing
away. I awoke in a cold sweat.
     
    These
feelings I have are so complicated. I simply don’t know what to do. There is no
question how he feels about me and no question about