miserably. What do I know? I don’t know anything about my father, really. Never met him. Maybe never will. And suddenly he was angry.
“He’s always just a little bit ahead of me. Why doesn’t he slow down and help a little, give us a sign, leave us a message! A million wingbeats I’ve come for this, and he can’t even … “
He trailed off, knowing he wasn’t making sense, but he couldn’t hold back the frustration and disappointment inside him any longer. If he knew his father was dead he could try to get over it, and at least there would be a sense of finishing with something, nothing more to be done, no more work or worry. He wondered if his father even wanted to be found. Too selfish to even think about his mate and son? Doesn’t
he
want to find
me?
he thought in despair.
“He might never have reached this place,” Ariel pointed out. “The owls might have caught him on the way; he might have gone”—she sighed and looked away—”elsewhere.”
“I just don’t see how you can give up,” he said.
“I think it’s time to get on with other things now.” She looked at him. “You’ve got to take care of Marina, you know.”
He snorted bitterly. “Oh, I think she’s pretty good at taking care of herself. She’s already more popular than me. You should see the way Chinook hangs around—” He looked at his mother, startled. “What do you mean,
I’ve
got to take care of her? I don’t think she even
likes
me half the time.”
“It’s hard for her. She’s not a Silverwing, and I don’t want her to feel like an outsider with us. She doesn’t have anyone else.”
Shade nodded uncomfortably. “I know, I know.” When he’d first met Marina, she was living all by herself, expelled from her own colony because she’d been banded. They thought the bands were evil, and would bring bad luck on all of them. Even her own parents had shunned her—something Shade found unbelievably painful. After reaching Hibernaculum together, she’d thought about going back to her own colony, now that her band had been ripped off. But she hadn’t. Shade smiled, remembering how glad he’d been when Marina had accepted Frieda’s invitation to stay with them. Then he frowned.
“She’s fitting in just fine,” he muttered. Ariel treated her like her own daughter, and he could tell Marina liked the attention—the way she practically purred when she was combed. Chinook liked her, and she seemed to return the favor. And Shade hadn’t missed the way some of the other young males looked at her admiringly—probably all that superior Brightwing fur, he thought with a sniff. True, the young females didn’t seem that thrilled to have her in the colony, but so what? She didn’t seem to be suffering.
“She’s good at hiding things,” said Ariel, as if reading his thoughts. “Look out for her, that’s all I mean.”
“Yeah. Sure,” he said. She was making him feel like an ignorant newborn again, and he didn’t like it. He didn’t even know whythey were talking about Marina right now. He wanted to talk about his father.
Ariel touched his cheek with her wing. “So restless,” she said. “Be proud of the things you’ve done, Shade. Without you, we probably wouldn’t have made it to this place. You brought us the sun, just like you wanted.”
He nodded, remembering the promise he’d made himself long ago, but his heart felt leaden.
“We have to tell the others back at Hibernaculum,” Frieda was saying. “They have a right to know what we’ve found here. My only concern is when. Do we go now, or wait until the spring?”
“By then the owls might’ve already attacked,” Icarus pointed out grimly.
Shade roosted near the burbling stream with Marina and the other Silverwings from his colony, listening. But he was watching Arcadia’s eyes; they were so unlike Frieda’s. You could tell that Arcadia didn’t want you asking questions; and she didn’t want you answering back.
“I’m afraid it
“He’s always just a little bit ahead of me. Why doesn’t he slow down and help a little, give us a sign, leave us a message! A million wingbeats I’ve come for this, and he can’t even … “
He trailed off, knowing he wasn’t making sense, but he couldn’t hold back the frustration and disappointment inside him any longer. If he knew his father was dead he could try to get over it, and at least there would be a sense of finishing with something, nothing more to be done, no more work or worry. He wondered if his father even wanted to be found. Too selfish to even think about his mate and son? Doesn’t
he
want to find
me?
he thought in despair.
“He might never have reached this place,” Ariel pointed out. “The owls might have caught him on the way; he might have gone”—she sighed and looked away—”elsewhere.”
“I just don’t see how you can give up,” he said.
“I think it’s time to get on with other things now.” She looked at him. “You’ve got to take care of Marina, you know.”
He snorted bitterly. “Oh, I think she’s pretty good at taking care of herself. She’s already more popular than me. You should see the way Chinook hangs around—” He looked at his mother, startled. “What do you mean,
I’ve
got to take care of her? I don’t think she even
likes
me half the time.”
“It’s hard for her. She’s not a Silverwing, and I don’t want her to feel like an outsider with us. She doesn’t have anyone else.”
Shade nodded uncomfortably. “I know, I know.” When he’d first met Marina, she was living all by herself, expelled from her own colony because she’d been banded. They thought the bands were evil, and would bring bad luck on all of them. Even her own parents had shunned her—something Shade found unbelievably painful. After reaching Hibernaculum together, she’d thought about going back to her own colony, now that her band had been ripped off. But she hadn’t. Shade smiled, remembering how glad he’d been when Marina had accepted Frieda’s invitation to stay with them. Then he frowned.
“She’s fitting in just fine,” he muttered. Ariel treated her like her own daughter, and he could tell Marina liked the attention—the way she practically purred when she was combed. Chinook liked her, and she seemed to return the favor. And Shade hadn’t missed the way some of the other young males looked at her admiringly—probably all that superior Brightwing fur, he thought with a sniff. True, the young females didn’t seem that thrilled to have her in the colony, but so what? She didn’t seem to be suffering.
“She’s good at hiding things,” said Ariel, as if reading his thoughts. “Look out for her, that’s all I mean.”
“Yeah. Sure,” he said. She was making him feel like an ignorant newborn again, and he didn’t like it. He didn’t even know whythey were talking about Marina right now. He wanted to talk about his father.
Ariel touched his cheek with her wing. “So restless,” she said. “Be proud of the things you’ve done, Shade. Without you, we probably wouldn’t have made it to this place. You brought us the sun, just like you wanted.”
He nodded, remembering the promise he’d made himself long ago, but his heart felt leaden.
“We have to tell the others back at Hibernaculum,” Frieda was saying. “They have a right to know what we’ve found here. My only concern is when. Do we go now, or wait until the spring?”
“By then the owls might’ve already attacked,” Icarus pointed out grimly.
Shade roosted near the burbling stream with Marina and the other Silverwings from his colony, listening. But he was watching Arcadia’s eyes; they were so unlike Frieda’s. You could tell that Arcadia didn’t want you asking questions; and she didn’t want you answering back.
“I’m afraid it
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