Struggling Free (Hidden Secrets Book 5) Read Online Free PDF

face. He lingered there for a moment before pulling back. “Thank you. I’ll be back soon.” Then he hurried back to the wedding.
    Lowering myself down on the ground next to him, he looked at me with a strange look. It wasn’t anything creepy, but like he couldn’t figure out what I was doing.
    “Why are you ruining your dress for me?” He asked skeptically.
    “I have a feeling you and I have more in common than you think,” I said patting his arm.
    “ Oh, you’ve loved someone that loves someone else?”
    My mind immediately went to Jacob and I couldn’t even fathom why it would. I’ve only been with him for a few hours. There was no way to judge feelings in that amount of time. Especially, considering that I only know what I’ve read about him and apparently that was just the surface no depth at all.
    “Let’s just say that I’ve longed for something that I can never have,” I said sadly.
    “Yeah,” he said sadly, quiet for a moment. “Have you ever had to watch the only person you’ve ever loved have a child and marry another guy?”
    “No, I can’t say that I have, but I can tell you that pain from the heart is all the same no matter how it was set up. Does that make sense?”
    “Yeah, I guess.”
    “She was right though. You deserve happiness, but you’ll never have it by holding on to something that isn’t yours.”
    “What would you know?” He hung his head.
    “I’ve never told anyone this, but I think it might help you. Can you keep it a secret?”
    “Sure, no one cares about what I say or feel anyway.”
    “When I was thirteen, I woke up excited for the day ahead of me. My parents had big plans for my birthday. I took my time getting ready because I wanted to look like a teenager,” Nate looked at me with disbelief. “Hey when you’re a girl it makes sense. Well to make a long story short. My mom left to get some last minute things for my party. I was just outside of my father’s office when I heard some noises.” Shaking my head, “Next thing I remember is hearing gun shots. I hid in the nearest closet and prayed whoever was in there wouldn’t find me. I heard a door open somewhere near me. I held my breath. My mom’s voice calling out for my dad came next. I listened to her shoes click on the floor and tried to gage when to jump out and stop her. When I heard voices, I opened the door and headed toward them. My parents were arguing in my dad’s office. There was a naked woman lying on the floor, blood all around her. Mom was crying. Dad said something about her being pregnant and wanting money and my mom lost it on him. She grabbed my dad’s gun and shot him before turning the gun on herself.
    On my thirteenth birthday, I lost my parents because my father couldn’t keep his dick in his pants and panicked when his infidelity led to a pregnancy. He let me down and made my mom go crazy. Neither of them thought for one second how any of their actions would affect me. They didn’t care. My story doesn’t stop there, but for now I think this is enough to let you see that I know a bit about wanting what you can’t have. Happiness is something I don’t get to have. Contentment yes, but not happiness. That’s lost to me for good.”
    “I’m very sorry for your loss, but just because your parents weren’t happy doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be.”
    “Exactly. Just because Mary is happy with someone else doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t be with someone else. Mary is not your girl. You’ll know your girl when she touches you, looks at you… What you need to do is get away. You need to go someplace that she isn’t, so your heart can have a chance to see what else could be out there. You love Mary and yet here you sit unhappy. That’s not how love is, not real love. It’s not out there for me, but I strongly believe it is for you.”
    “You and Jake seem pretty happy.”
    “Ah, but he is a great actor,” I said, bumping his shoulder. “Trust me, I’m not his type