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said he had the situation under control. He told him they just needed to secure the building, then evacuate. Now the three of them were dead. And I wasn’t there to help them.
    He pushed open the door to the debrief room. Pemberton was already there and so was Collinson, flanked by a pair of officers. Nobody was smiling. Pemberton looked at him coldly. ‘Come in, Porter,’ he said slowly. ‘Glad to see somebody survived the bloody mission.’
    One chair had been positioned directly opposite the main desk. ‘Take a seat, Porter,’ said Pemberton.
    ‘I prefer to stand.’
    ‘I said, take a seat,’ he repeated icily. ‘You’re injured, you need to rest.’
    Porter pulled out the chair. He didn’t recognise the two other officers, but he could see that one of them was taking notes. ‘What happened, sir?’ he said. ‘To the other blokes, I mean.’
    Pemberton rested against the edge of the desk but didn’t sit down. ‘I’ll let Collinson tell you,’ he said.
    Glancing up, he could see Perry taking a step forward. He was standing just three feet from where Porter was sitting and you could still smell the gunpowder on his uniform. There was a tear on his jacket, and a plaster covering a cut on his face. ‘It was like this,’ he began. ‘We evacuated you as well as the hostage. Steve wanted to secure the building. It was a sound enough plan. Steve’s a good man. We laid down some fire, enough to keep the Hezbollah guys at bay. It shouldn’t have taken more than a few minutes. We were getting ready to clear out when the little Arab fucker you left unconsciousness suddenly came round. He’d crawled across the floor, and picked up one of the AK-47s his mates had left on the floor.’ He paused, glancing towards Pemberton before continuing. ‘Then he sprayed the place with bullets. Took Steve and Keith down instantly. Poor blokes didn’t have a chance. Mike managed to start returning fire, and might have winged the kid, but by then he was running backwards out into the alley. He managed to hit Mike just as he was disappearing from view. He was still alive for the next twenty minutes or so but he was losing a lot of blood, and there wasn’t anything I could do to help him. I knew the chopper would be waiting for us, so I laid down as much fire as I could, and started to make my way upstairs. I was lucky. I reckon the kid had already legged it. I told the pilot to stay put, then I went back to get our boys.’
    ‘I left him out cold,’ snapped Porter.
    ‘Then I suppose your punch isn’t hard enough,’ said Collinson. He paused, wiping away some greasy sweat from his forehead. ‘There were two firefights as I went back tocollect the bodies. A couple of snipers were trying to get me. I think I may have killed one of them, I’m not sure. Took three runs to get our men, and I don’t mind telling you it was a bit hairy. Still, at least we got out. And, after all, the hostage was rescued.’
    Porter’s eyes remained rooted to the floor. If he could have drilled a hole in the bottom of the boat, he would have gladly sunk himself to the bottom of the ocean. Steve, Mike and Keith.
Three of the best mates I ever worked with. All dead. And all because I didn’t finish off that little Arab bastard when I had the chance.
    ‘So, as Perry says, mission accomplished,’ said Pemberton. ‘The hostage is back, and unharmed. But three of our men died, and the Regiment doesn’t take casualties lightly. This is our worst day since the Falklands. So, the question is this, Porter. Why didn’t you kill the boy?’
    Porter’s eyes were still rooted to the floor. He couldn’t move them. He wasn’t sure they would ever move again. ‘I … I …’
    He could start the sentence.
But how the hell could he finish it?
    ‘Well, man?’ snapped Pemberton. ‘What’s the bloody answer?’
    He was just a kid, thought Porter. He was begging me. A child …
    ‘Sod it, can’t you even speak?’
    ‘We’re not butchers,’ said