Storms and Dreams (Becoming Jane Book 3) Read Online Free PDF Page B

aside and just not talk about it right now.”
    “Okay.”
    “And then last night, in the middle of the night we had a really intense sort of, just…” I wasn’t sure how much to say. I figured I needed to be vague, since Thomas’s past wasn’t mine to share.
    “What?” asked Sasha.
    “I can’t get into it in detail, because he shared something private with me. But it was really…it was deep. We had this pretty heavy conversation and it was so much. It was just so much.”
    “Okay.”
    “And then he fell asleep in my arms.”
    “Okay.”
    “And I think I love him.”
    “You think?”
    “Yeah,” I whispered, my voice cracking with emotion. “Yeah, no, um, I’m pretty sure I just fucking fell in love with him. Fuck.”
    “And this is bad why?”
    “Because, Sash! What the fuck? I can’t even sleep with a guy without falling in love with him?”
    “Oh, don’t be stupid. You’ve slept with tons of guys and not fallen in love.”
    “Gee, thanks.”
    “Sod off, you know what I mean. You’re not a ninny who falls in love easily. If you’ve fallen for him, it’s because he’s special, he’s worthy.”
    “Sure,” I sniffed.
    “You’re scared.”
    “I’m not scared,” I said. “I told you I’m just freaking out.”
    “Just freaking out.”
    “Yeah, I mean just because I feel like I love him. I mean, I’m not sure exactly. It could be just hormones or pheromones or whatever. We’ve both been pretty strung out emotionally; things have been a little intense.”
    “Did you tell him how you feel?”
    “God no! I’ve been playing it safe I guess, trying not to say anything rash in the heat of the moment.”
    “While that’s probably wise, I’ve got to tell you, I’d bet the club he feels the same way. Or he will soon enough.”
    “Fuck.”
    “Risk, my darling. I told you, life is about risk.”
    “Not mine.”
    “Everyone’s. We cannot live without it, I’m afraid. Literally, life itself is a risk.”
    The light on the coffee pot came on. I tucked the phone between my ear and shoulder, found a mug and fixed myself a cup.
    “Jane?”
    “Yeah, I’m still here. Just making coffee,” I said, taking a loud slurp to prove it.
    “Mmmm.” She sighed. “You are scared.”
    “Okay, yes I’m scared,” I said, setting the mug down on the counter. “Of course I am.”
    “Of what?”
    “What if this is real? And what if he doesn’t feel the same?” I said. “I can’t even…I’ll be devastated.”
    “And what if he does?”
    “That’s almost worse,” I said.
    “How?”
    “We are in totally different places in our life, Sash. He’s getting divorced, lives in another country, teaches at a university. He’s got a life, like already working, with all the pieces in place.”
    “Well, if he’s getting a divorce I’d say that’s one piece at least that’s definitely not in place.”
    “Yeah but how can I fill that? I mean I wouldn’t want to, even. I just graduated for Chrissake. I’ve got a life to build, stuff to do. I’ve got plans.”
    “No, you don’t.”
    “Well, I’ve got plans to have plans. You know what I mean.”
    “If you say so.”
    “I mean, what would I do? Drop everything and move to England and get married and become a Professor’s wife and have kids and shit? No thanks.”
    “You don’t want kids and shit?”
    “No! I mean yes I do, just not right now.”
    “Okay.”
    “I did all that before, Sash. You know I did. I dropped everything for a guy, lost myself in his life and his world and forgot who I was and I can’t do that again. I won’t.”
    “Okay.”
    “Stop saying okay. It’s not okay.”
    “Love.” She sighed. “Just be. Just feel what you feel, and take each moment as it comes, and make each decision only as needed. Don’t decide the future, good or bad, before it’s even begun.”
    “How do I do that?” I asked, raising the coffee mug to my lips.
    “Breathe. And just let it unfold.”
    My cup stopped midair. Unfold.