Storm in a B Cup - A Breast Cancer Tale Read Online Free PDF Page B

today.”
    Clearly
she’s dealt with a tone like mine before.
    “You have
emergency slots.”
    Can’t she
throw me a bone? It must be fairly obvious I’m becoming hysterical.
    She sighs.
“Yes, but they’re for emergencies. I can do Monday, 9 a.m.”
    Now, I am hysterical. The emotion I believed wasn’t
there, that I was hiding so well, comes bubbling to the surface.
    “So Breast
Cancer isn’t an emergency? I’ve already waited a week for the results. I’m not
waiting another week for her to confirm them. I could be bloody dead by then.”
    There’s a
telling silence on the other end of the line. I think I may have made my point.
    “I can squeeze
you in at eleven on Friday. Don’t be late.”
    Oh for
fuck’s sake. She had to have the last word.
    I hang up and
sit for a moment. My mind is racing but it’s racing in a spiral that’s getting
tighter and tighter. It’s twisting my brain so hard I can’t think. The only
thing that’s making sense is that I have cancer.
    I. Have. Cancer.
    It’s like
the world has stopped. Everything is frozen in time. I look out the shop
window. The cars have halted. People on the footpath are staring at the lights
waiting for them to change but the traffic lights are larger than life icy
poles. They flash green, no wait — red? — and instead of saying
‘WALK’ they’re flashing ‘YOU HAVE CANCER.’ That wakes the street up. A man winds
down his car window and is shaking his fist at the lights and everyone else frowns
at each other in confusion. Then, as if hit by the realisation, they turn and
look through the window at me with a look of pity in their eyes.
    The shrill
of the phone makes me jump.
    Jesus. I
need to get a grip. That was some hallucination.
    I check the
caller ID and, even though I know I’m not prepared for this, I take a steeling
breath and press the answer button.
    “Hi Mum.”
    “Hello, darling.
What’s new?”
    Mum lives in
Melbourne. She’s lived there since she and Dad split up, shortly after I turned
eighteen. For some reason, they both felt the need for a new start and moved to
opposite ends of the country. A capital city with a population of two million
wasn’t big enough for the both of them. Neither of them considered I might need
them. Not that I did. I’ve always been independent. Mum said I was like that
from the moment I could walk.
    I swallow. “Not
much. Rory got a certificate at assembly. He’s doing well with his reading.”
    “I can’t
believe he’s at school already. Time flies.”
    “Sure does.”
    She talks
for a few more minutes about the usual crap. I can’t get a word in but that’s
nothing new. Mum could talk a used car salesman out of a job. Then she says, “And
how’s things with you, honey?”
    I wonder if I
should tell her. I mean, it’s not official; I shouldn’t panic her yet. “I went
for a mammogram and ultrasound last week. They found something suspicious. I’m
seeing the doctor on Friday for the results.”
    Bum. I
hadn’t meant to blurt that out. I don’t even know why I did. It’s like I lost
control of my mouth for a second.
    “Oh.” Rather
large pause in the conversation. “Well, I wouldn’t worry. There’s no history of
cancer of any kind in our family. The women have very lumpy breasts. It’s
genetic. And nine out of ten scares turn out to be nothing.”
    This is not
how I thought she’d be.
    “Yeah.
Maybe.”
    “You’re
still concerned?”
    “I guess so.
The doctor doesn’t ask to see you if nothing is wrong.”
    “They do
like to get their billable hours up though. He probably wants to see you to tell
you it’s clear. I wouldn’t put it past him. You know they did that to Colin not
long back. He was having terrible problems in the weeing department. Four
visits it took for them to decide it was only a urinary tract infection. He was
convinced he had prostate cancer.”
    “Mum.” I cut
her short. Colin’s privates are not something I like to think about, even