was supposed to be.
It bothered me a little bit that when we were with
the rest of the frat, Jaxon didn’t make a move to flirt with me—but when we ran
into each other on campus, he would touch me; tousle my hair, poke my ribs, he
even picked me up and slung me over his shoulder once when I told him I didn’t
want to go to the frat until I’d had a chance to shower. Everything had changed
between us, but only when we weren’t among the other guys. I shook it off as
best as I could; I figured he didn’t mean anything about it, it was just a matter of practicing his skills. I flirted back—stealing his hat,
or jumping onto his back and demanding a piggyback ride, responding to his
little comments about how hot I was—but I reminded myself over and over again
not to expect anything to come from it. After all, if he had any intention of
doing anything with me, he would have told the rest of the guys that I was
off-limits, and there were still some of the members of the frat who flirted on
occasion.
The thing I was most afraid of was that if anything
ever went farther than flirting between me and Jaxon, it would ruin all of the friendships I had in Phi Kappa. The last thing I
wanted to have happen was that things would suddenly get weird, and I would
lose my spot in their midst as just another one of the guys. If Jaxon slept
with me, or even if he dated me, and things didn’t work out—and I knew well
enough that it would be easy for things not to work out—everything would get
awkward. I could technically still go to parties, and still hang out in the
frat house, but the guys would feel weird around me. I felt comfortable around
the Phi Kappa guys—I didn’t want to have to change the group I hung out with
just because things had gone weird with Jaxon.
And anyway, just because he was flirting didn’t mean
he had any intention of doing anything about it. I told myself every time it
happened that I’d seen Jaxon flirt with tons of girls that he never even tried
to kiss; he was the kind of guy who flirted as readily as he breathed. If I
read something into every little remark he made or every time he touched me,
I’d be as crazy as any of the girls in the sororities who insisted that
so-and-so was totally into them because they hooked up at a party. I would just
accept that Jaxon was that way, and that since I was a girl—in spite of being
treated like a guy—he flirted. I couldn’t make myself take anything that
happened seriously, because I had no proof—not even a hint—that Jaxon meant any
of it seriously. It was all fun, all playing around.
Nothing changed among the guys at the frat, and I
still went over as often as I could to catch a game or just to hang out and
play cards, or study. It wasn’t as quiet as the library, but I didn’t
particularly like to study in a quiet place; I liked to have some background
noise. When I went to the gym to work out, or went out onto the court to join
in a pickup game, everything was the way it had always been, and I would take
that over having a shot at a guy like Jaxon any day of the week.
CHAPTER
5
After the second and third practices, it got harder
to think that Jaxon didn’t have any kind of intentions at all towards me. It
seemed like whenever I wasn’t in the middle of the group of guys I normally
hung out with at the frat, Jaxon managed to find me and we ended up hanging out
together. He asked me about my classes and teased me about getting more
tutoring help. I was good in English and History but horrible in Pre-Calculus
and Biology—and he taunted me over and over again about taking advantage of the
Tau Delta boys by asking them for help. He offered to help me out in Bio after
class, running into me seemingly by accident as he was leaving one of his
professors’ office hours appointments. “You know, I
got straight As in Bio,” he told me, reaching out and
tweaking at one of my braids . “So you can stay in your normal couch
potato position