St Matthew's Passion: A Medical Romance Read Online Free PDF Page B

since she’d started working there.
    Melissa found Deborah in the nurses’ mess, shrugging on her overcoat. It was October, Melissa had been at St Matthew’s for six weeks, and the autumn chill was beginning to bite outside.
    ‘Deborah, I know you’re about to go home, but do you have a minute?’
    The nurse looked at her in mild surprise. ‘Of course. Here, or my office?’
    Melissa glanced about. There was nobody else in the cluttered, comfortable lounge, but someone might walk in at any moment and she really did want this to be a private conversation. ‘Your office, if that’s all right.’
    In the office Deborah indicated a chair and took one herself, then crossed her legs and gazed at Melissa enquiringly. Melissa hadn’t seen the other woman out of uniform and with her hair down before, and she was surprised at how much younger she looked, and how much more attractive. Her auburn Scottish hair was naturally wavy and her figure was trim. Melissa thought she was probably in her middle thirties, five or six years older than Melissa herself.
    ‘What’s on your mind?’
    ‘It’s… a bit awkward.’ Melissa found it difficult to look directly at Deborah for any length of time. She could imagine how bewildered the other woman felt, seeing this normally so confident and decisive doctor at a loss for words. ‘It’s just… I need your advice.’
    ‘Go ahead.’ Deborah splayed her palms in encouragement.
    Melissa took a breath. ‘I need to know what Fin thinks of me.’
    It sounded desperately needy the moment it came out, and inwardly Melissa cringed. Deborah raised her eyebrows. Melissa hurried on: ‘You’ve worked with him for years. You know him better than most. I can’t tell if he’s pleased with the work I’m doing or not. I think I’m doing a good job, and I’m getting good feedback from everyone else. Plus he’s never actually criticised me. I just get the feeling sometimes… it’s as if I’m falling short of his expectations in some way. You must have seen lots of other registrars come and go before me. Is he like this with everyone?’
    It had all come out in a rush and Melissa closed her mouth to shut off the flow. She stared at Deborah, unable to read the expression on her face. Then the nurse gave a faint smile.
    ‘Perhaps you should ask Fin yourself.’
    ‘I’ve thought of that… but it’s difficult to know what he really thinks. He says my work’s fine, so I can’t really very well keep pestering him and asking him if there’s something he’s not revealing, can I? It’ll irritate him and make me look flaky.’ She shook her head. ‘There’s this wall of reserve about him that I just can’t get through. It’s maddening, and so unexpected. His looks, his charm, they make him seem so open.’
    Melissa had decided to approach Deborah because as she’d mentioned, the nurse had known Fin longer than most in the hospital and might be best placed to judge his thoughts and feelings about his staff. But Melissa had also come to her because, frankly, she didn’t know who else to turn to. Emma, her counterpart in Professor Penney’s team, had become a close friend over the last few weeks, but she didn’t work directly with Fin and was unlikely to have any insights into his psyche.
    She noticed Deborah watching her in silence. The small smile had slipped a little. Just as the atmosphere began to feel uncomfortable Deborah said, ‘You said you wanted my advice, Ms Havers. I’ll give it to you, though it won’t be the advice you were expecting, still less hoping for.’
    Melissa frowned, confused.
    ‘My advice,’ Deborah went on, ‘is that you be very careful what you’re getting into here. It’s not going to work, and it’ll end in trouble for everyone. You, mostly, but also for Mr Finmore-Gage and the rest of us.’
    Melissa wondered if she was hearing right. Had she dozed off, or slipped into some sort of fugue state? She opened her mouth to speak but Deborah leaned