Spirit's Chosen Read Online Free PDF

one, then hid nearby.”
    “Weren’t you afraid that the Ookami would discover him when they came to steal our rice?” I asked.
    She shook her head. “I thought of that. Strange, how calm I became when I was trying to protect my boy. It was as if I were planning what to do on an ordinary day—clear away the bedrolls, clean up after breakfast, tidy the house, first this, then that, one, two, three.” Tears slipped down her face. “Before I put Takehiko in the empty jar, I rolled it to where we pile the broken ones and heaped shards over it. I reasoned that shattered jars don’t hold rice, so the Ookami would ignore them. At first he clung to me and balked at going into the jar, but I screeched at him like a crazy”—she glanced at my mother’s sleeping form and guiltily snatched back the word—“like a wild creature. I terrified him into obedience, then found another pile of debris away from the full jars and hid myself. Then we waited for it all to be over.“That was the hardest part. I had managed to scoop pottery fragments over myself, but knew I wasn’t completely covered. All I could do was lie in the dirt, my face in my arms, my lips moving constantly in silent prayer, and hear our enemies’ shouts of triumph come closer and closer, listen to them pounding up our ladder, to the sound of heavy footsteps on the floorboards above my head, to more of the wolves laughing nearby as they swarmed around the pillars of our house, ordering our own people to trundle out the filled storage jars from underneath. Perhaps it was a blessing that they made others do their dirty work: it meant that the Ookami didn’t come near my hiding place, and if any of our clanfolk caught a glimpse of me, they didn’t betray my presence. The debt I owe them can never be repaid.”
    Takehiko whimpered in his sleep. The sound made Yukari lurch toward him as though a rope bound her and the end of it was in his tiny hands. At the last possible moment she stopped herself from seizing him, sat back, and gave me a sheepish look.
    “I’m sorry. He suffers from nightmares and I’ve gotten into the habit of rousing him before he can scream himself awake. I often mistake the sounds of ordinary sleep for the onset of those evil dreams, and then we’re both fretful from lack of sleep.”
    “I understand,” I said, patting her arm. “Do you think he’ll wake soon? You still haven’t told me—”
    “—what happened to the others?” Yukari’s glance darted toward the doorway, as if she were contemplating a fresh flight. Her once-pretty face was wan and strained.“Himiko—” Her voice rasped. “Himiko, do you hate me too?”
    The question took me off guard. “Where did you get such an idea? You and Emi raised me with as much tenderness as Mama ever did, and I love you!” I hugged her fiercely. “Why would I ever hate you?”
    She pushed me away and hunched herself over until she seemed as small as a girl. “Because it’s my fault that our family is broken,” she said. “When danger came, I saved my son and myself, but I left everyone else behind.”
    “Yukari, you did everything that you could for them,” I reassured her. “You saw the enemy coming and gave them as much warning as you had for yourself. It’s not your responsibility if they didn’t heed you.”
    She shook her head violently. “I should have done more. I should have stayed with them. We are a
family
. We must all share the same fate. What’s wrong with me? Do I really believe that I am better than they are? Am I a coward? Did I—?”
    “Who said such things to you?” I asked softly. But my heart knew the answer.
    Yukari looked like a remorseful child. “It doesn’t matter; it’s true. I lay hidden under the pottery shards until nightfall, then coaxed Takehiko out of his refuge and carried him away to my aunt’s house. It’s very small and out of the way, so I thought it would be safe. I didn’t want the Ookami to know that Takehiko was a