Speed of Life Read Online Free PDF Page B

Nat,” Han offers when we get there.
    â€œIn the Snugli?”
    â€œSure.”
    I roll my eyes. He’s so weird. “Go for it.”
    He can’t figure out how to get it on, and I finally stop laughing long enough to help him, directing his skinny chicken arms through the straps and lifting it over his head. Then I slip Natalie into it, and she settles against his concave chest, looking up at him.
    â€œMan,” he says. “I can’t believe how big she is.”
    â€œI know. Twelve pounds already.”
    â€œHi, baby,” he says in his regular voice. He always talks to her like she gets what he’s saying.
    She starts to whimper.
    â€œDon’t take it personally,” I tell him. “She’s teething.”
    He jiggles her around a little as we walk inside, and I actually hear her laugh. Thank God. People always give me and Nat the dirtiest looks when she screams in the grocery store, like I’m torturing her on purpose.
    What I
wish
I could buy requires a cart, but what I can afford will fit in a little red basket, so I grab one of those. In the baby aisle, I pick up two containers of formula and a box of cereal with a baby’s face on the front. They told us at daycare to start mixing a little cereal with formula and give it to her with a spoon because she’s hungry all the time now. They said she’ll mostly spit it out at first, but will supposedly get the hang of it eventually. I see the gel teething rings and pick one up to check it out. I choke on the price, though, and put it back. I bet my cousin Jade has an extra one.
    Jade’s ex was a dealer before he was killed last year in a drive-by, and he used to give her tons of money for their kids. She used the cash to put herself through beauty school, but she also bought a shitload of baby stuff, mostly from thrift stores and garage sales. Whenever we need something, we kiss her ass, saying how cute Lapis and Onyx are, and she’ll usually give us her castoffs.
    â€œDoes Nat need one of those?” Han asks me.
    I shake my head. “I was just looking. You know Mei-Zhen, at the daycare? She told us it would help. You stick it in the freezer, and then the baby chews on it and her gums go numb or whatever. But Jade probably has one she’ll give us.”
    If me and Amber ever want to get out of the dump we live in and into our own apartment, we have to save every penny we don’t spend on necessities like food and diapers. Nat can live without a teething ring. I grab some bananas in produce. That’s another thing they told us to feed Natalie, and if you get the brownish ones, they’re cheap. Then I swing by the coffee aisle and grab the no-name filters and a small can of Folgers. The last thing I get is a case of vegetable ramen. Luckily, it’s on sale. Also, it’s the one food we don’t have to hide from Mom and Gil. They both hate it. Not that me and Amber love it, but it’s dinner.
    When I’m ready to check out, I head to the customer service counter to get the cigarettes and pay for everything together. Han looks about twelve, so I send him and Natalie outside. The cashier knows me from shopping here, but she checks my ID about fifty times before handing over the pack of Marlboros and giving me my change.
    As she bags my stuff, she makes a big point out of the fact that I’ve got baby food and cigarettes, which pisses me off. It’s not any of her business. I can’t help myself—​I open the smokes and flip one into my mouth to freak her out. Her face turns a little purple, and I laugh as I walk away. I wish I hadn’t done it, though. Now I want to keep one and smoke it later. Han won’t care, but Amber would kill me.
    When I get out to the car, Han is standing there talking to Nat about a computer game he’s really awesome at. I drop him off at home before going to the bank, and as he gets out of the car, he hands me a teething ring