remnants of chocolate tease my tastebuds as his tongue glides against mine. I’m immobilized, not just from his embrace, but from all of this. It’s been so long since anyone’s held me, kissed me in this way. I thought my imagination was good, but it seriously needs work. Lost in the kiss, I realise how wrong this is. I’m kissing my best friend.
I pull away, and with hands to his chest I push him back. The breathy sounds of us panting echoes in the small space. What in the hell was that? His facial expression doesn’t give anything away. I think he’s waiting for me to react.
“Stay … please,” he says.
I shake my head from. “No. I’m sorry … I can’t.”
He reaches out, and smooths a tear from my cheek with his thumb. It’s a simple gesture he’s done before, but this time his touch almost burns.
“But will you be alright to drive?” he asks, his brows bunching together.
“Yes.” I say yes, but I really mean no.
“Can you send me a text when you get home?”
I nod.
He opens the door. “Will you be okay?” he asks in a quiet voice.
Okay? Right now, I’m a universe from it.
“I need time to process this … all of this,” I say, thinking more about that kiss. A cloud of confusion follows me as I walk out the door. I take a few steps, and turn. “I’ll see you later.”
“Bye,” he says, with the tiniest hint of a smile.
Laden with the worry of what this all means, my head falls forward, not taking my eyes off my shoes until I see the door of my car.
And I’d thought things were looking up.
****
Drained of tears, and without an ounce of energy left in me, I arrive home. I probably shouldn’t have driven, but how could I stay any longer? What would have happened if I had?
I turn on the kitchen light, and find Crystal has written on my note from earlier:
Sounds great. Rob’s busy tomorrow so I don’t have any plans.
Yeah, right. Breakfast. There’s definitely some shit to talk about now. And she’d better not say I told you so . Otherwise, her pretty existence may be over all too soon.
Dragging my arse into the bathroom, I grimace at my reflection: Messy hair, swollen eyes, and a red nose, which has been running like I’ve had a bad case of hay fever since I left Jon’s. I splash cold water on my face, and collapse into bed.
Assuming the foetal position, I snuggle deep amongst my pillows and doona. I toss and turn as my thoughts bombard me. It comes down to two options—either I become his girlfriend, or lose him forever. It’s an ultimatum, and it’s so, so unfair. How did I get here?
I take my phone, and begrudgingly send Jon the text I’d promised him.
Home safe.
He replies almost immediately. Was he sitting on the damn phone? It’s been more than an hour since I left his place.
Good, hope you are okay?
Okay? OKAY? No. I am not fucking okay, Jon. You’ve given me an ultimatum, I’ve turned into a snivelling cry baby, and I’m in emotional limbo. Happy?
I don’t reply to his text. I wouldn’t want to say something and regret it later. Not wanting to think about him any more tonight, I switch off my phone.
The book on my bedside table doesn’t have its usual appeal. I’d be reading about kissing Brayden, but in my head it would be Jon all over again. Unfortunately, my emotions get the better of me, and with an ache in my chest and thoughts of losing my best friend, I cry myself to sleep.
CHAPTER THREE
I wake to a soft knock on my bedroom door. “Are you awake?” Crystal asks.
“Yeah, come in,” I grumble, and clear my throat. I squint at my alarm clock. Eight-thirty. I normally don’t sleep this late, with the exception of yesterday morning at Cassie’s. My head is foggy with a dull ache, my limbs heavy. I obviously needed the rest.
The door slowly creaks open. Crystal sits on the end of my bed, already showered and dressed though her hair still hangs in thick wet ropes.
“Where do you wanna go for breakfast?” she says through
I pull away, and with hands to his chest I push him back. The breathy sounds of us panting echoes in the small space. What in the hell was that? His facial expression doesn’t give anything away. I think he’s waiting for me to react.
“Stay … please,” he says.
I shake my head from. “No. I’m sorry … I can’t.”
He reaches out, and smooths a tear from my cheek with his thumb. It’s a simple gesture he’s done before, but this time his touch almost burns.
“But will you be alright to drive?” he asks, his brows bunching together.
“Yes.” I say yes, but I really mean no.
“Can you send me a text when you get home?”
I nod.
He opens the door. “Will you be okay?” he asks in a quiet voice.
Okay? Right now, I’m a universe from it.
“I need time to process this … all of this,” I say, thinking more about that kiss. A cloud of confusion follows me as I walk out the door. I take a few steps, and turn. “I’ll see you later.”
“Bye,” he says, with the tiniest hint of a smile.
Laden with the worry of what this all means, my head falls forward, not taking my eyes off my shoes until I see the door of my car.
And I’d thought things were looking up.
****
Drained of tears, and without an ounce of energy left in me, I arrive home. I probably shouldn’t have driven, but how could I stay any longer? What would have happened if I had?
I turn on the kitchen light, and find Crystal has written on my note from earlier:
Sounds great. Rob’s busy tomorrow so I don’t have any plans.
Yeah, right. Breakfast. There’s definitely some shit to talk about now. And she’d better not say I told you so . Otherwise, her pretty existence may be over all too soon.
Dragging my arse into the bathroom, I grimace at my reflection: Messy hair, swollen eyes, and a red nose, which has been running like I’ve had a bad case of hay fever since I left Jon’s. I splash cold water on my face, and collapse into bed.
Assuming the foetal position, I snuggle deep amongst my pillows and doona. I toss and turn as my thoughts bombard me. It comes down to two options—either I become his girlfriend, or lose him forever. It’s an ultimatum, and it’s so, so unfair. How did I get here?
I take my phone, and begrudgingly send Jon the text I’d promised him.
Home safe.
He replies almost immediately. Was he sitting on the damn phone? It’s been more than an hour since I left his place.
Good, hope you are okay?
Okay? OKAY? No. I am not fucking okay, Jon. You’ve given me an ultimatum, I’ve turned into a snivelling cry baby, and I’m in emotional limbo. Happy?
I don’t reply to his text. I wouldn’t want to say something and regret it later. Not wanting to think about him any more tonight, I switch off my phone.
The book on my bedside table doesn’t have its usual appeal. I’d be reading about kissing Brayden, but in my head it would be Jon all over again. Unfortunately, my emotions get the better of me, and with an ache in my chest and thoughts of losing my best friend, I cry myself to sleep.
CHAPTER THREE
I wake to a soft knock on my bedroom door. “Are you awake?” Crystal asks.
“Yeah, come in,” I grumble, and clear my throat. I squint at my alarm clock. Eight-thirty. I normally don’t sleep this late, with the exception of yesterday morning at Cassie’s. My head is foggy with a dull ache, my limbs heavy. I obviously needed the rest.
The door slowly creaks open. Crystal sits on the end of my bed, already showered and dressed though her hair still hangs in thick wet ropes.
“Where do you wanna go for breakfast?” she says through
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